“Don’t Ever Trust Yourself”
--- Filarial (3000
AD)
The governor of Alpha Centauri lay dead
before us. I couldn’t believe it. All the precautions and nothing had helped.
It had to be one of us. There could be no stowaways on this ship. I had
calculated the amount of air to be supplied based on the ships size and the
number of people to the last atom. This had been a precaution I had always
taken without my crew knowing for if I saw a drop of sweat I knew things were
not right. I knew! That was key to providing the kind of security the governor
had needed.
And the strange thing was I trusted each
of my crew more than myself. There was Sibyl (oh beautiful Sybyl… but I
digress) Randy, Chad and Periyakarupan. I looked at each of them. The stranger thing was that we had all been
sweating from about 36 seconds before the governor dropped dead. And then
everyone was breathing normally. I couldn’t make head or tail of it. “Report to
your quarters and do not budge your tail or else you will be killed” I said
quietly.
I thought for about 30 minutes looking
at the monitors trained on each room. Randy paced about the room nervously,
Sibyl was crying like a baby, Chad and Periyakarupan on the other hand were
sitting quietly and patiently. I walked straight to Randy’s room and opened the
door. As soon as he saw he whispered quickly,” Have you talked to anybody else?
” He saw the look on my face and said,” I was hoping when you saw me pacing you
would come to me. I hoped in hell that you did. You don’t understand. I saw
something. I cannot for the love of god figure it out. I saw... “And his voice
broke into a whisper… his eyes wide open… and
Blackout.
The governor of Alpha Centauri lay dead
before us. I acted per protocol and grounded the whole crew to their quarters. I was observing them on the monitors. Sibyl
(oh beautiful Sibyl… I slapped myself on the face… focus…) Periyakarupan and
Randy were sitting down with an eerie calm. Sibyl was crying uncontrollably
now. I could feel the air becoming thinner, she needed to calm down or all of
us were in danger of cerebral hypoxia for we were still a million miles from
Gyna. I would get to her but she would
be second. I headed to Chad’s room. I opened the door and his eyes were wide
open waiting for me to walk in. I said calmly,” Chad … why did you do it… Chad?
“And his eyes moved towards me and without any warning he jumped on me. The
bastard had a hidden weapon. He must have used it on the gov…
“You are not the CAPTAIN.. YOU ARE
NOTTTT.”… I felt Blood ooze out of my shoulder… I was having double visions as
I staved off Chad with the last reserves of energy that I had left… He suddenly
stopped looking horrified and said,” Captain is that really… really you???”...
I screamed, “You Dumb MF what the... “I could feel myself blacking out. The
ship’s computer was saying something about slight turbulence or something. I
was losing consciousness. I poked my wound with two fingers harshly and
screamed in pain as blood rushed to my head as well and I saw a little more
clearly. Chad said,” You don’t understand captain… I… Saw… I….”
Blackout. .
The Governor of Alpha Centauri’s mangled
body lay before us. I was a little disconcerted. I had sent the rest of the
crew to their quarters. I wanted to go to Sibyl’s quarters and comfort her. I
couldn’t bear her cries. But when I did look at the monitors, I looked at but
one monitor. PeriyaKarupan was looking at the monitor almost smiling almost
signaling to me. I walked straight to his quarters and opened the door. I let
it slide shut behind me and heaved a heavy sigh. “I saw… “He smiled and said,”
Don’t jump to conclusions. “ and he closed his eyes and said, “ Let us think
rationally captain, calm your thoughts and lets then go to Sybil’s Quarters.“.
I said, “I am calm enough - let’s go.” We were inside Sibyl’s Quarters and as I
approached her… I ...”aaaaaaaaaaaaaaah”
PeriyaKarupan looked down upon the captain’s
dead body and then at Sybyl, “Come on Sybyl, we don’t have much time… “ ... The
ship’s computer was saying something about approaching turbulence. He half dragged her to his quarters and pulled
her over a body. A badly disfigured body of…. Periyakarupan. She was almost
hysterical. TURBULANCE…
Blackout.
The
Governor of Alpha Centauri’s body lay still before me. I looked at the monitors
desperately. I had sent everybody to their quarters and yet nobody was there. I
saw no one in their quarters. I walked out of the control room as the ships
computer talked about turbulence. As I walked out … I saw someone approaching.
I ran towards the figure and tried to … my eyes opened wide. It couldn’t be… I
backed away… and then he jumped at me. I screamed in pain as something struck
and I felt blood spurt out and screamed …. And screamed…..
Turbulance and Forward…..
I stood there shaking. And behind me-
the Governor, Chad, Sybil, Randy and… Periyakaruppan.
I had used the modulator, the only one on the ship… on…. Me. I wanted to cry,
to vomit but we couldn’t afford me to do that for we were still a million miles
away. I controlled myself. We all sat there looking at each other as if each
were a ghost. Finally Periyakarupan spoke slowly, “it had to be done to break
away from the anomaly. That was the only way that I could think off. Each of
us… had to kill …. Ourselves… to break from the paradox…. It was the only way…
it was the…”
I looked at Sybil and said,
“Explain.”
She looked up through her tear soaked face and said, “When the
turbulence hit the ship for the first time… I was pulled through some sort of
anomaly and as I traveled I could hear all of your screams. And then I was
back on the ship but 20 minutes before the turbulence hit. I tried warning us
but the first time, all of you including a “copy” of me freaked so much at the
sight of future me that you tied me up and put me into what was my quarters not
listening to me. And again it was only I that survived. I tried through
different combinations to drive the ship of path but I found I did not have
control. Captain you para-programmed the ship to listen to only you. And then I
tried to catch someone, anyone's attention. First Randy, then Chad, in that
sequence by showing me at a certain angle while killing the most important
person on the ship- the Governor. Both of them could not understand the paradox.
And then Periyakaruppan...
She stopped
and Periyakaruppan continued, “As we started saving each of us we had to kill
the so called “copy” the anomaly created of each of us. That was the only way.
Believe me captain… “And he closed his eyes.
We were lost upon the act of violence we
had had to commit… and yet we were alive… all of us… I could not understand….
Somewhere distantly I could hear ship’s computer say “400 thousand miles to
Gyna”
PS- Some people like to use quotes of
great men in History to make a point. So I decided to use a Quote I will make
in the future at the beginning of the story.
K
PS PS- the story’s title- did it make
you think? :D…. As I researched the theme, I found a quote in wiki which went
like the “Homer seems to have been unaware of a Sibyl” Hence I assumed the
reference to be the one person I turn to in a time of great despair… The one
only philosopher of interest-- ~(_8-(!) (Turn
these characters by 90 degrees and you will see Homer Simpson!)
