Emails from the past

Three years ago slightly edited...


"I got my visa today. This is what happened.

I got there at 7.50( my appointment wus at 8) and
afound a que that seemed like it would reach the
marina.I didnt know if i would make it to the end of
the raod(leave alone inside) by 8. So i asked guys in
the que what time their interview was. I got answers
ranging from 9.30 to 11.30. so basically i cut the que
and went atraight to the window( for check and
entering) with hundreds of people throwing silent
curses at me.

Anyways i wus inside now.I paid the dds( for the
american counsulate and the tts services) and stood
in line to get my doccuments checked.Now i had a
choice.Choice one wus a middle aged lady who didnt
seem to know that there was a mike and bullet proof
glass in front of her and choice two wus a cute lady
in her late twentys with priety zinta type of glasses.
obviosly ( being the shallow person that r all males)
i took choice no.2.Boy wus i tortured for that. She
took what seemed like ages to procees just two guys in
front of me.ppl who arrived after me where already
finished with the ch:1 lady and were gone fer the
interview while i wus there waiting.. waiting..
waiting.. i guess u get the picture.( moral of the
story the cliched u can never find a girl with beauty
as well as brains-- haha)

now i wus inside and wus directly sent to a que for
the interview. i had just one person before me.

his interview went as

Foriener: what r u gonna do in the us

this guy: i going to come back to india use the
techniques i learnt and work for the greater good of
not only the indian economy but also the greater good
of mankind as well.

the ferengi looks at him then says that wus not the
question i asked.
....... iam sorry to say that i am rejecting ur visa!

(myself : oh my god this must be the guy who is there
to reject all visas so that they have a normally
distributed rejection rate... i am doomed ... oh my
god...

the words
"please come forward" broke my reverie.

ferengi : why this university
self: i have been lokin at the resaerch blah blah
blah......
ferengi: how are u gonna pay fer it
self: i am taking an education loan and my dad is also
helpin out
ferengi: abruptly what r u gonna do afterwards
self( thinking: probabaly take a toilet break no he
must mean after the course) and before i think it out
i find myself saying "i am going to (dont say work u
goddamn idiot ur visa will surely get rejected )
"WORK" as the prosepects blah blah...
ferengi: u still havent said where ( looks at me
expectently probably thinking say the magic word " usa
" come on give me the pleasure let me reject ur visa
come on come on ...)

self: obviosly i am coming back to india because blah
blah blah ....

ferengi : there is no visa issuance fee for students
thank you ( and smiles)


and that is me story. hope havent wasted two minute s
of yer time."