Theories of an Unwanted Dangerous Mind

Why does man consider stealing an unpardonable sin? It’s a question that has stared at me for years together. I want share a story that has spanned decades which has caused me to constantly revaluate what values mean to me.

Some thing to think about before I start boring you with a personal account- “Spare the rod Spoil the child” or something like that I think.. I remember from the time as a kid my grandfather used to sit down for an hour every night and go through his finances and try to balance them to, I am not kidding, to a single paisa. He would not sleep till every naya paisa was accounted for. Every body would make fun of him for this queer habit which he would join in -good heartedly. He would say that it was a habit instilled in him by his grandfather who thought his father was a frivolous spendthrift and did not want his grandsons to be the same. He said it taught him the value of money and in no way made him a miser!

My parents on the other hand never kept track of the money they were spending. They did not even know how much currency they had in their purse, a fact that I took advantage of for a long time. My family is a typical patriarchal family where my dad is the breadwinner. My mom had no idea where my dad kept money and was to lazy to go to the bank and withdraw some. She would ask my dad every time she needed money and did not even know where he kept it which again I took advantage of.

If there is anything that I have an unavoidable craving for it is chocolates. And my parents being good parents would never give into my daily tantrums of wanting chocolates. So after a point I think when I was in third grade I started taking matters into my own hands. I would just take money in small amounts from my mom and dads purse and get myself chocolates whenever I wanted. I was smart enough not to do it too often a I somehow knew they would find out. I have now idea how I had the guile and criminal mind( an example of which would be my first escapade of smoking- I stole a cigarette from my dads pack and plotted smoking it in a bathroom.i somehow knew that my parents would find out I had smoked so I chose a bathroom whose exhaust opened into an elevator shaft!. I smoked the cigarette into the shaft and washed my mouth with toothpaste so that I would not be caught and I wasn’t and all this in fourth grade) make sure I was never caught. I even discovered my dads “money hiding” safe place – his shirt pocket in a shirt hanging in his cupboard. By the time I was in sixth standard I was taking money to buy comic books as well. If my mom would ask where did I get the comic book I would say return gift at a friends bday prty. My lying had also become spontaneous and a part of life!

I was never caught! I would like to say that then some life changing incident occurred that changed me for life ( background score- insomnia??).. but no. When I got to seventh grade I just stopped doing it. I don’t know why? I just felt it was wrong. I still don’t have any idea what caused that change. And by the time I got to 10th grade I had stopped lying as well. I realized if I told the truth my parents would just accept it. For some reason they thought I was responsible and would never doubt my decisions- be it a small issue or something more important. Again I have no idea why?

I turned out ok as a human being and years later when I was in college I confessed to my mother in a lighter moment that I used to steal money from her purse and bought chocolates.. she just laughed it off. I think of how would have my life changed if I had been caught at a young age? There would have most certainly been a big scolding and probably my parents would have most certainly never trusted me.. or would they have?.. I have no idea. But to think back my own opinion is that if I had been caught I most certainly wouldn’t have grown up to be the confident individual that I think that I am and have such a wonderful relationship with my parents with the amount of freedom that they gave me. Of course I can never say how things would have turned out.. but it turned out fine in the case where the rod was spared.