Illusions may be false but sometimes they are the Truth

There was once a little girl

And then there was not.

For she had been exposed

To mesons in the Cryon

No one knew how

-          On the walls of the ruins of the Babylon Research Facility (Circa 2566 AD)

Humankind had finally mastered space travel in the year 2333 AD. Since the first settlement on the moon of Saturn had been successful there was flood of settlers all across the galaxy. Dr. Gaber Wallpee’s ground breaking research in the field of Mesogentic travel had opened the way for the future of mankind. He had led the greatest to the planet Babylon in the beta quadrant of Sector G. At its heyday something happened. No one knows what. Why am telling you all this rubbish you ask? I am a Reperto Historian and I came to the ruins of Babylon 10 years ago. We are considered a cult, us Repertos. Fuck people don’t know the importance of the Reperto History research. The incident needs to be uncovered soon for the all our futures are tied to it. People are such dumb fucks.

Anyway I walked into my office with my cup of Joe and saw Parka was already there. She was always there before me. Everyday this past 10 years, she was always in that seat when I walked in. I began to wonder if she even slept. I knew everything about her and yet I did not. She Said, “Heyy… we going down the tunnel today?” I nodded my head.  We started walking. One sip of my coffee is all I enjoyed anyway. We took the elevator and then the beast.

I smelt her hair sitting behind her as she drove the beast full speed. I closed my eyes and stopped. We would soon be at the cusp of the tunnel, at the doorway. No one knew what lay behind the doorway. We had not yet figured out what Dr.Wallpee had intended it for. We started the work of painful restoration. We had 10 hours before the LUPP set and the Lumsar cycle started, after which it would be too cold to work. I went to start work on sector 72. I was the only Reperto who could translate the ancient symbols. The story so far on the Doorway was “There was once a little girl…”

I was ready for some coffee.  I didn’t realize it had been 6 hours. I had added a full two line today which was extremely fortuitous. We would have been lucky with a few letters. The new line read

But there is a legend of a Circle

And that is an Aakrap

I wondered what that meant. That was when I heard her scream. I ran and I ran. I came to Sector 64, it had taken me exactly 7 minutes. She was not there. I looked at the doorway section and saw no clues. I looked around, closed my eyes and thought “Fuck!”.  I started the technique of Labarynth Math. It was the only way to stay calm. It was a method discovered by the great yogi Japurandakudi of the planet Kudra in the year 2453 AD. She was the first Reperto. I concentrated. I didn’t realize it but I played around with the pattern in my mind in a different way. I wondered why was I seeing these strange patterns. This was not calming me down but rather it was making me sweat. And yet I was cold. I tried opening my eyes I could not. I felt an intense pain and I passed out.

I got up, I had a pain in my elbow. I wondered why and looked forward but there was no doorway. I looked behind me and there it was the doorway. I was confused. The patterns in my head were now bright orange in color. I opened my eyes and started walking forward. I heard the calm voice of a little girl. And then she was in front of me and she smiled. I felt at complete peace with myself.  She sang,

Have you come to rescue me

Finally after all these years

Panda San do you not see

It is futile to save Aakrap

For without the meson accident

There is no humankind

And this circle will destroy

You Panda San

At least this time leave

While you still can for

You cannot solve the puzzle

Panda San

I was confused. Why was… I not horrified at finding myself on the other side? Why did I know this little girl? Why did the words she said make sense? I closed my eyes. The patterns had changed and I had this sudden urge to push the Cuboid I saw. It changed. A flush of memories flooded past my neural network and it all came back to me. I understood.

“Parkaa”, I said, “When were you caught in this time loop?” She looked at me confused. She said “ I am Aakrap Panda San”.  I continued, “ Parkaa, you were not the cause of the accident. We need to get out of here. I know how now” She looked at me confused. And suddenly she found herself fully grown. She took my hand and realized who she was. I turned and the doorway disappeared and we walked through.

Epilogue

Panda San was just a creation

Something of a mindmeld

What was real was but false

and what was false was really

something like the truth.

She looked at me with her eyebrow raised. She said “ So when I was a baby I was caught in the vortex when the Cryon generator broke down.  I understand that but why were you the one to figure it out?”. I smoked some berrylthum and said,” Its simple Parkaa, Labyrinth Math allowed me to connect with you in the warp hole. You were able to project yourself out of it into the real world without realizing it. You thought the real world was an illusion or a dream while you slept. And these last 10 years I have always wondered when did you sleep? You knew me and I knew you and yet in the warp your mind kept you at an age that was comfortable for the body. Once I realized that the rest was simple.” She smiled, and I smiled back. The world needed to know. This was going to .,….

A Filarial Special Story

  

Kung Fu Jackass Again....

The king of the roaches

Sat up one night, not Sat night

Pondering on his kingdom

And the doom that prevailed

It had been seven years

Of lost itch and glory

Since that fateful day

When the queen had lost

To that jackass named Kung fu

The vermin had attacked

And taken over most of the kingdom

The queen had lost her sanity

For her heart was lost to insanity

The vermin were closing in

On the famed walls of the

Roach kingdom Zinzane

In that universe Beta K

And that was when he came

Having learned to interstellar

That same inferior hero

Who no one knew off

He had learned a new art

That of a flavor fart

What is that you ask

U would rather smell it not

The vermin surrounded the city

The forces were vile

The leader shouted

Surrender u damn roaches

The elixir still lasted

and Kung Fu Jack Ass thought

the roaches saw him as an enemy

and yet he was here to fight naught

He stood outside the room

And whispered the words

Queen I have come and I ask

Do you lie on a cos over a sine

She perked up and said

Yes this is a cot

You came after all

And left human kind to rot

He laughed and flew into the sky

And drank that elixir to the drop

He built of up his famed ass acidity

And let go of one big flavor fart

The vermin did not stand a chance

The king fell first then those rotten

One million that followed

Not knowing what hit them

The queen smiled into the sky

And was grateful the flavor

Was controlled

The city was saved but what

Of that inferior hero….

A smile exchanged and a seven

Year promise maintained

Kung fu was on his way

To the next place that he was not needed

Or so they said for it was legend.

I am free!!

UPON REFLECTION

Akṣapāda Gautama’s Gurukul…

“What is the difference between good and evil Guruji?” I asked. Gotama replied without opening his eyes,” Good is what you do onto others without expecting anything in return which is beneficial in its effect. Evil is what you do with the intent of harm onto others.” I absorbed what was said and queried further, “Guruji, why is it important to do good deeds and not what is called evil?” Gotama still did not open his eyes. He never got tired of the questions his sishyas came up with. But over the years his responses had become stereotypical. He replied,” Young one, I have already introduced you to the theory of causation. You should have inferred by now that cause and effect should be homogeneous in nature, and yet the effect is a new beginning and was not already contained in the cause.” I was ready for this response. I had contemplated for half a year now and this was the way I had decided to draw out Guruji. I responded,” Guruji, I have been doing something for six months now. I steal half a liter of milk every day because I know like clockwork the cowherd’s schedule. The conundrum has stupefied both Mataji and the Cowherd as to why the cow has been giving half a liter of milk less for the past six months as he knows through inference of the milk giving capacity as related to the weight of hay fed and its ankle size. Now though the Cowherd does not say anything in front of Mataji he curses the cow when alone for his repute is at stake. If I did not confess now nobody would ever have known. I did so called evil deed and yet other than the silent curses there was no other effect. And I am also at peace with myself. And yet it is evil… What is that explains this situation?” Gotama opened his eyes,” Young one… what is it that you seek?” I replied honestly, “The truth guruji…” Gotama,” Young one, it is time for you to continue your journey. I have imparted all the knowledge that I can… I can give you an answer but you will not accept it because you want to back anything that is said through the experiment of self. But young one- Do not forget the primary knowledge of Causality that I have imparted. In the case that you present your inference of the effect was easy because the inputs were controlled. Remember that young one.” I was scared at the answer that I got for this was not what I expected. But I said abhivadhaye and asked, “Guruji, what is it that I can offer as guru dakshina… “

Zen Arcade- 2000 so years later…

Have you ever heard of the band Husker Du? They came out with this album in the eighties called Zen Arcade that changed the phase of music. Almost every decade had such an album one could argue but it (actually an album, a book or a movie) took meaning when one comes across the idea being presented for the first time in his or her life. The album followed the adventures of a disoriented young kid who is disillusioned by his parents and the environment he is in and decides to head out into the world to seek the truth. As the album progresses so did the young kid – he experiments with sex, religion and drugs along the way and then returns home, apparently back to square one, having discovered the world outside is even worse than the” safe haven” that was his family. The album ends with a ghostly song called “Recurring Dreams”. To me everything in the album made sense. I have always toyed with this idea. What If there is no ultimate truth? But the thing is each has to experiment in order to prove to him or herself. Some of us accept it after a little experimentation that we have found god and ultimately it will be revealed as to why is that things happen as they do. Insanity I say! But what is the alternative.
I had an alternative that I had pondered with for years together now… and it made sense….

1930 years ago…

It had been thirty years since I had left the Gurukul. And yet I found myself walking into the valley again. Guruji was on the throes of death and had summoned me. I somehow did not feel pity at his shriveled old body when I saw him. I had found that death did not affect me as much as life did. I don’t know why but over the years I had learnt that dealing with my inner thoughts was the first step to learning to deal with others. I touched his feet and sat beside him. He whispered,” Young one … “and he looked at me fondly. He continued,” What is it that you have learnt? Tell me…. “I looked at him with almost anger…. “Nothing guruji… absolutely nothing! I do have a better understanding of the world around me or the people that reside here. But the question that I asked you years ago still hounds me. And now I have thirty years behind me to make a perfect argument that even you Guruji will not be able to counter. Yet I cannot get myself to do something truly evil” I sighed. Guruji smiled at me, “Young one to me it was not as much as finding the answer as developing tools of thought. The fire you had in you and that still burns in you burns in me even as I feel death come upon me. I am sure you have by now thought about…. “And I looked at him… it was not possible… how could he possibly know! And he smiled and continued, “There is one explanation that conscience must hold the true answer to all that… “

1945 years since the Gurukul was left for the first time

I stood there observing a two week old kitten. He was furiously scratching the concrete floor and looking confused and then sat upright and… I yelled, “Bad Kitty!” The next day I saw a similar confused scratching and I carried him outside and put him on the ground. He continued to scratch and then I realized he wasn’t scratching but digging. He dug a neat hole and the sat in the hole and did his thing. When he was done he got up and covered his poop with mud making sure the hole was filled! I was pretty amazed and it got me thinking. I wondered about the preprogramming that was innate to every living thing. I contemplated the concept of conscience and how it hounded humans into doing the right thing in more cases than less. Where is it that this was passed on from for you were born with it. I wondered.

1930 years before the Husker Du incident:

I looked at Guruji and said, “But you have never fed that idea to me Guruji.” I was a little out of my element. Guruji smiled,” Young one, the day that you put forth the conundrum for the first time I inferred you would reach the same conclusion. But I had to wait for the experiment to happen and confirm the result. So what is it that you concluded? Did you reach the same conclusion? The only way to truly break away from conscience and yet not affect causality! ” I slowly replied, “I think Yes… that you …. “I stuttered a bit”You… ummm commit... “He looked at me eerily and completed, “SUICIDE! But how? But how? … How do you create the perfect accident?” I looked at him and whispered… and with that he took his last breath … I got up.

1930 Years before the Husker Du Incident and at that time too

I walked into the empty space. It was time to commit the act. But it was very important to create the right conditions. It meant freedom. True freedom. Maybe many people had come upon this conclusion and had carried it out. But the knowledge truly remained a secret because no one had lived to talk about it. Ha! I smiled ironically. All knowledge that Is passed on can only be applied with the physics of this world that surrounds us i.e., the interaction of Purusha with Prakarthi. But that was all an illusion and the conclusion that I had independently reached had been inferred by guruji as well. It had to work!

I walked into empty space. It was time to commit the act. But it was important to create the right conditions. It meant freedom. True Freedom! Maybe many people had come upon this conclusion and had carried it out. But the knowledge truly remained a secret because no one had lived to talk about it. Ha! I smiled ironically. It had to be done this way; the inference of the kitten was but the start point. This was the only way to let’s say short circuit the system!

The conditions were right. I had planned every detail to the second; death came at all simplicity and…. I was free! I opened my eyes…. I was blinded and I heard a voice….. A strange form of communication but I somehow understood, “You almost got away the very first time you tried this... To think! Ha!” I felt a sort of eeriness… It was unbearable….
A baby was born somewhere… somewhere… and she cried…



“Filarial was listening to two bands as he inferred the truth- “Pavement” and of course “Husker Du”. He likes to back his fiction with facts.”

The Girl with the Dragon Tatoo

I was watching this amazing movie- The girl with the dragon tattoo when I noticed something funny that I cant figure out. It was a foreign language film (for me that is :D) with subtitles. At the peek when I was totally engrossed into the film I did not find my self " reading " the sub-titles. Reading as in hearing my voice in my head talking the words out loudly.. :D but as soon as i discovered this I started doing that and couldnt stop.. and then without knowing it I was engrossed in the movie again. I felt it reminiscent to falling asleep.. :D I can never put my finger on that one moment when sleep suddenly comes.. :D

all the times you came to me
and told me that you cared
i was dreamin of happy days
that we can both could share
maybe i got too excited
and maybe you freaked out
maybe i just have to call you up
and scream and shout
all of my friends tell me
that i ought to play it cool
no one likes too much attention
from a desperate fool
still i dont believe
that i can keep it all inside
when i see your pretty face
i almost want to cry

i know it isnt right
but still i have to fight
i have to let you know
i dont wanna let you go
the pain is killing me
but i cant let it be
i have to let you know
i dont want to let you go

i remember the days
when i was stronger than a wall
try as anybody might
they couldnt move me at all
now i fall to pieces
when you softly call my name
goin up in smoke
rings a moth within your flame
i have lost all hope
for being normal once again
i will be a slave to you
untill the bitter end
even if its a hundred years
before you change your mind
i will be here waiting girl
until the end of time


i know it isnt right
but still i have to fight
i have to let you know
i dont wanna let you go
the pain is killing me
but i cant let it be
i have to let you know
i dont want to let you go


i know it isnt right
but still i have to fight
i have to let you know
i dont wanna let you go
the pain is killing me
but i cant let it be
i have to let you know
i dont want to let you go