Of the Piano man, a Violin and a damsel

“That was masterful maestro” Randy the saxophonist called out as I left after a hard Friday nights work. “Yeah I know, I am the best” I smirked. “You over confident jackass... catch ya later” he called out. It had been a hard week. I had worked about 80 hours just to meet ends. The gigs we got Friday nights were the best part of the week. Hopefully sometime soon a scout would recognize our talent. If Randy were still here he would have said,” FAT-CHANCE sucker”. At 2 am I stopped by for a sandwich which was when I saw her. A sophisticated black dress, a charming face soaked in tears. I just moved on. The dame just ain’t my type. I walked in and got my sandwich. Just as I was about to exit the god-dammed cheapo place I heard a gunshot. I came out to see a gun in the dame’s hand, her face now full of anxious surprise… a guy bleeding to death lying in front of her and a car speeding away. “I sure have enough to worry about than get involved in any shit like this”, I thought to myself. And so like any archetypical modern hero, I did the sane human thing to do in such a situation. I turned and ran in the opposite direction as fast as I could. As my luck would turn out I was not fast enough. I still don’t know how the cops got there that soon for 10 minutes later I was in the back of a police junk interrogation looming close at hand.

The room I had seen in many a movie but to be there in person knowing superior cops were staring through the “mirrored” walls was getting my balls itchy, so to say. Jack walked in then and gave me a stern look and said,” What the fuck were you doing there you Dumb-ass?” I looked at him with the “most” puppy dog innocent face that I could muster and said” Getting a sandwich… Officer” He gave me a stern look and said,” why the fuck did you run?” I looked at him and replied almost before he completed his insult,” Oh come on officer, human reaction? I don’t know. I just don’t need to be involved in such a situation. I have nothing to do with this and I don’t intend to be doing anything with it either” Jack looked at me and said,” So you have nothing to do with Erika either” Now why did that name sound familiar,” No the name sure ain’t ringin no bells in that fucked up brain of mine. And let me make it clear here officer.. I aint seen nothing… I certainly aint testifyin my balls off… and don’t gimme any “obstruction of justice crap” cause I aint have no heart for me to change” That I thought was a pretty passionate speech for all the fear I was in. Jack just looked at me and said,” You are free to go” givin me one of those real sincere smiles.

As I walked out I sure as hell was wonderin why the fuck had I been let go. The creative part of my brain was makin up a pome of the whole situation which sang

A blonde in a black dress
Always a killer so to say
Killer of my nifty balls
Up and down so to say
But this blonde sure is a Killer
So to say…

I would have gone on all night but then my creative spot was killed by two nice looking gentlemen in black suits who forced me into the back of a limo. Now being the first time in the back of a limo I couldn’t help me-self saying,” I have always wanted to pee in the back of a limo” A regular dream of any guy I would presume. Suit1,” Shut the fuck up. Did you tattle mister piano player”. How in gods name did all these people know who I was. “ Yeah Dumbass… that’s why the police let me go with no escort so that they would have evidence no more..” Suit2,” So you dumb M*****fUc$ you tatled” Why do the henchmen always have to be so dumb. This was stereotypical. I thought if ever in real life I came across the situation I was in… I would meet a henchman intelligent as hell… but Nooo… my luck wasn’t getting any better as was my patience. But looking at the piece that both Suits held I thought I had better sober myself,” No siree… I saw nothing was what I said and was let to go Scott-free as does one of the amendments of the constitution herald to me” They both looked at me open-eyed…I continued slowly,” Let me rephrase. I saw nothing… I said nothing… and so they let me go “ A whaling siren behind our car sounded out. A cop car was on our tail. Both suits said in unison,” Shit… shoot the dumb Mother-fuker..” I sure wasn’t waitin around for that to happen. As both the suits prepared to fire in unison I just jumped out of the limo. The suits hadn’t noticed my hand on the lever of the door all of the time. And the cop-car had created the distraction I needed. I rolled out down a small hill into a bush. God that was painful. I did what I do best in situations like these. I ran as fast as I could into the dark night.

I got to my rundown Sela- maintained ( which equals bug ridden) apartment. The time was four am. I sure needed my precious sleep. As I opened the door I saw the dame seated on my couch. She sure looked familiar now that she was up-close. I switched on the light and said,” when the hell did you change your name to Erika… Jessica and from when in hell did you start dressin so classy” She used to sing in the same joint where I jammed till she got a better gig. I could hear violins play in the background as she talked. I wasn’t payin attention. God… why did she do this to me? Focus you dumbass. “Be more coherent and stop cryin sweet-heart”. I heard her talk this time… cutting out the sound of the violins that were playin in my mind… “ I did not know where else to go to. But when I saw you out there I knew you were the only one who could help me. I did not kill John… he was the guy you saw shot there… he is an auditor… he was my ticket out of that fucked up joint… I grabbed that ticket… I am sorry I didn’t tell you I was leaving… “God she looked so pretty… “Calm down and tell me the whole story sweetie”

As it turned out John the auditor had got her that big break in the “ Ella- Petit”. What she hadn’t known was that the Ella was owned by a mobster for whom John the auditor audited for. She was being harassed by the mobster himself for she was sweet chunk of pie and John hadn’t been really standin up for her. Things weren’t adding up. She sure wasn’t the part of a damsel in distress. For that matter I aint no knight in shining armour either. That was when Phillip… “the Mobster”… entered my house with two suits behind him.

“Where the fuck is my money… Jess” Phillip said in a cultured manner that you now come to expect of such high class jackasses. Jess stammered,” I don’t know Phillip… John never told me”. “In that case I have no other choice. My friend you play the piano real well”. I sure in hell was getting famous. Just that the scouts did not know I even existed. His piece locked directly on Jess. I jumped in front of Jess as I heard gunshots for the second time that morning. I was wrapped around Jess as she said “ Get off me you dumb fuck” Not the words I expected to hear. But then I sure did not expect meself to be jumpin to save a dame riskin my own ass. Damned violins. Jack entered stage right with two cronies for cops behind him.” You alright Erika” Jess“Yeah Jack.. Thought I had been crushed to death by this dumbass though” she looked at me exasperated. For once in my life I was dumbstruck. The violins had sure stopped playin. Three dead bodies decorated my otherwise bland living room. Soon the forensics were all over the place followed by press people. I tried to give them an interview. Thought that the scouts might read it and I might get my chance. They just pushed me away. My luck wasn’t getting any better.

As the officers cleared my living room I caught up with Jack,” Why the hell did ya let me go that easy?” Jack replied solemnly,” to catch the bad guys… you were great bait piano player…” “ What if I had been….. killed……” I stammered. Jack laughed cynically,” I sure in hell wouldn’t have missed you” I wanted to strangle him with violin strings. I asked” All this for some dumb mobster”. Jack looked at me surprised,” who Phillip? He aint no mobster. Made his money through some insurance fraud scheme. Used John the auditor to make his assets legal. Don’t know why he killed him when he had everythin legal and all. Must have been some pride issue between the two. I say the world aint gonna miss either of those bastards” So all I was… was bait. My stomach had an empty feeling.

So I got some tuna otta the fridge. Oh well that’s life. As I was about to dig in Jess came back into the house. She came straight for me and kissed me long and hard. Now I was one confused dumbass. She looked at me and asked “ Are you all right?”. I looked at her and found myself saying,” Jess… what was that about” She looked at me in exasperation,” Don’t you see I love you. Always have. You risked your life for me…. I couldn’t believe you would get your selfish ass to do that” I looked at her and smiled,” Neither did I babe… before we take things further I need to know the truth babe..”She sat down.

She said,” Well its like this. John liked to take me at gunpoint and loved it when I looked scared and cried” I thought back to her tear stained face earlier that night ..she continued,” He was playing with his gun “terrorizing” me when he saw Phillips car come by. He had been avoiding him cause he had no idea what had happened to all that money Phillip was talking about. In his haste he dropped the semi cocked gun he was holding, It went off as it hit the ground the bullet going through his balls. God the blood all over the place” She shuddered. I started talking for some reason,’ Jack was in on this with you in stealing that money wasn’t he?” She looked at me and said,” you aint that much of a dumb dumbass that you have everyone thinking… yeah he was the one who came up with the plan of making it look like a murder that we could pin on Phillip”

She started to kiss me again. Those godamned violins started playin in the background God… why cant I hear pianos and not devilish violins. I sure in hell wasn’t complainin bout that though…..