I was walking down a beautiful road
And minding my own business at that
When a young boy not of four
Came up the other way
Sucking on his little sucker
Looking serenely at his mother
Look at that fat uncle he said
And sniggered at his mother
And his mother said
“you do not call “fat” people
Fat young one .. mind your manner”
And smiled at me as if
She had just done the greatest thing
On the planet earth
Affronted I was at what she said
More so than what the little child
Commented in his innocence
I presumed
I could not help saying
“Excuse me madam
But what is that supposed to mean?”
She was a little frightened at my
Strong baritone I presumed
For she blinked her eyes twice
And looked at me with a smile
The smile gave way to laughter
An uncontrollable laughter at that
My blood was now boiling
What a rude lady at that
I was going to say things
And yet the gentle me won out
For there was a young one in the vicinity
But something had to be done
I looked at her sternly and said
“ Madam please… think of what
Example you are setting for the young one..”
My look must have scared her a little
For she started controlling her laughter
And I thought a lesson I had taught her
And was feeling a little smug
And then I heard her say between her
Controlled bouts of laughter
“your zipper sir…”
Saturday, July 26, 2008
Monday, June 30, 2008
Maniac
Dedication- to the bestest scrabble player I know! inspiration for me into the realm of SF...
Somewhere at the edge of some galaxy
The alarms sounded. There was frenzy with all the security bots sheltering hither and thither. A space ship lifted off the facility. He was in it and left out a cry. Having been imprisoned for the last 40 years in solitude would have driven any entity mad. But not he…
They were on his tail. He knew what had to be done. He had worked on this plan to the very last detail. He was only one hyper jump away from the third planet from a distant star. He had chosen an oblivious primitive habituated planet. He put his invention to motion. He used his newly acquired ship sensors to sweep the planet. He zoned in on the baby that had the highest probability of survival. As he entered the planet’s atmosphere his invention started to miniaturize everything around him. So much so that when he reached his target he was but the size of a virus that penetrated the baby’s soft neck and embedded itself in the cortical space below the medulla oblongata and leeched onto the human system for nourishment.
Age 10
He stared at the dog with no fear in his eyes. His eyes were blood red and his fore head was throbbing. And then he gave a maniacal laugh. The dog was twice his size and charged at him. He stood his ground.
Let it come towards him. And as it jumped at him jaws open he took a quick sidestep. The dog missed him by inches. But in that the dog had lost its vantage point. He was quickly onto him and in a swift motion started strangling the dog. He laughed and laughed. He derived pleasure in seeing the dog suffocate to death. He saw it struggle. The dog was nothing but an “it” to him. His neck throbbed. it always did when he killed. He walked back into the recesses of darkness.
Age 25
It was all over the papers. Some smart criminal psychologist had pieced together the relation between 75 homicides in the last 10 years in 25 different countries. They had tried to put into effect a pattern but there was none. In that they were stumped. They did not know who the next victim was. In which country would the next corpse turn up? They had no idea. But this was the kind of challenge that the CP (what the criminal psychologist was called among his peers) had been striving for. To put into effect a moral code and show other people how callous they were and how dedicated he was. It was but a farce.
He laughed to himself perversely. But he had learnt to live with the perverseness. He vowed to track the bastard responsible down. His vow was known to all.
Somewhere…. He looked about. The way he killed became more complicated with each kill. He had to. Otherwise there was no pleasure. He was in a crowded airport. He picked his next victim with a smile. A middle aged faggot… that’s what it looked like to him. He went up to it and asked, “ do you have a light mate?” … it did not answer and ignored him. The faggot was also nothing but an “it” to him. He picked a pressure point. In a swift motion he put a pin in the cutinal marxis nerve in the neck. No one saw him do it. Not even the faggot. He stepped aside and watched him fall down. People gathered around the faggot. He stood there and saw the face of the faggot. He was smiling. He was in extreme pleasure. Others closed their eyes. They thought the faggot was having a heart attack. Three minutes of agony later the faggot finally stopped breathing. He still did not walk away. He continued to stare and smile.
And then he walked away.
The CP looked down upon the victim. He knew it was the work of the bastard he was trying to track. And yet again he had left no clues. He had killed the man with a sterilized 0.2 mm needle in a crowded airport. The CP smiled to himself. Everyone makes a mistake he thought and when this bastard made his he was going to be there to nail him. The intrigue of it all drove him insane and yet that’s what he strived on. The CP commanded the team with a flurry of instructions….
Some years later
The leech detached from the cortical space and left the body through the neck….
He looked at the mirror… he took the nearest object a shoe…. The mirror was broken…. He wailed… he cried… his anguish was known to none… all those faces … no more its…. He could not understand it…
He drove up the hill to the highest point. It was dark and yet to him it was too bright for he could see himself. He saw the city lights all round him now that he was up there at the highest precipice. The CP devised what he was suffering from. He was the killer and yet he did not know it till now… his eyes were blood shot. He had used a knife on his hands body chest…. There was dry blood moist blood fresh blood all over him and yet the anguish was much more hurtful than the physical pain. He cried out…. His vow came back to him and for that brief second he smiled… for he had caught the bastard after all… and he jumped ….
The edge of the solar system:
There was maniacal laughter in the space ship. Nobody was looking for him anymore. The ship was back to normal size. He had made his plan work. He had known all along it would work. He laughed again… and again… and again…..
Somewhere at the edge of some galaxy
The alarms sounded. There was frenzy with all the security bots sheltering hither and thither. A space ship lifted off the facility. He was in it and left out a cry. Having been imprisoned for the last 40 years in solitude would have driven any entity mad. But not he…
They were on his tail. He knew what had to be done. He had worked on this plan to the very last detail. He was only one hyper jump away from the third planet from a distant star. He had chosen an oblivious primitive habituated planet. He put his invention to motion. He used his newly acquired ship sensors to sweep the planet. He zoned in on the baby that had the highest probability of survival. As he entered the planet’s atmosphere his invention started to miniaturize everything around him. So much so that when he reached his target he was but the size of a virus that penetrated the baby’s soft neck and embedded itself in the cortical space below the medulla oblongata and leeched onto the human system for nourishment.
Age 10
He stared at the dog with no fear in his eyes. His eyes were blood red and his fore head was throbbing. And then he gave a maniacal laugh. The dog was twice his size and charged at him. He stood his ground.
Let it come towards him. And as it jumped at him jaws open he took a quick sidestep. The dog missed him by inches. But in that the dog had lost its vantage point. He was quickly onto him and in a swift motion started strangling the dog. He laughed and laughed. He derived pleasure in seeing the dog suffocate to death. He saw it struggle. The dog was nothing but an “it” to him. His neck throbbed. it always did when he killed. He walked back into the recesses of darkness.
Age 25
It was all over the papers. Some smart criminal psychologist had pieced together the relation between 75 homicides in the last 10 years in 25 different countries. They had tried to put into effect a pattern but there was none. In that they were stumped. They did not know who the next victim was. In which country would the next corpse turn up? They had no idea. But this was the kind of challenge that the CP (what the criminal psychologist was called among his peers) had been striving for. To put into effect a moral code and show other people how callous they were and how dedicated he was. It was but a farce.
He laughed to himself perversely. But he had learnt to live with the perverseness. He vowed to track the bastard responsible down. His vow was known to all.
Somewhere…. He looked about. The way he killed became more complicated with each kill. He had to. Otherwise there was no pleasure. He was in a crowded airport. He picked his next victim with a smile. A middle aged faggot… that’s what it looked like to him. He went up to it and asked, “ do you have a light mate?” … it did not answer and ignored him. The faggot was also nothing but an “it” to him. He picked a pressure point. In a swift motion he put a pin in the cutinal marxis nerve in the neck. No one saw him do it. Not even the faggot. He stepped aside and watched him fall down. People gathered around the faggot. He stood there and saw the face of the faggot. He was smiling. He was in extreme pleasure. Others closed their eyes. They thought the faggot was having a heart attack. Three minutes of agony later the faggot finally stopped breathing. He still did not walk away. He continued to stare and smile.
And then he walked away.
The CP looked down upon the victim. He knew it was the work of the bastard he was trying to track. And yet again he had left no clues. He had killed the man with a sterilized 0.2 mm needle in a crowded airport. The CP smiled to himself. Everyone makes a mistake he thought and when this bastard made his he was going to be there to nail him. The intrigue of it all drove him insane and yet that’s what he strived on. The CP commanded the team with a flurry of instructions….
Some years later
The leech detached from the cortical space and left the body through the neck….
He looked at the mirror… he took the nearest object a shoe…. The mirror was broken…. He wailed… he cried… his anguish was known to none… all those faces … no more its…. He could not understand it…
He drove up the hill to the highest point. It was dark and yet to him it was too bright for he could see himself. He saw the city lights all round him now that he was up there at the highest precipice. The CP devised what he was suffering from. He was the killer and yet he did not know it till now… his eyes were blood shot. He had used a knife on his hands body chest…. There was dry blood moist blood fresh blood all over him and yet the anguish was much more hurtful than the physical pain. He cried out…. His vow came back to him and for that brief second he smiled… for he had caught the bastard after all… and he jumped ….
The edge of the solar system:
There was maniacal laughter in the space ship. Nobody was looking for him anymore. The ship was back to normal size. He had made his plan work. He had known all along it would work. He laughed again… and again… and again…..
Saturday, June 14, 2008
The Zombie song
So I met a Zombie
in the middle of the night
Driving down highway 54
Which adds up to nine
He had just one thumb
Which was just right
For he was waving asking
For a lift to get
On his way to wherever
I was a bit drunk
So I stopped to pick him up
He got into the car
And gave me a smile
Or so I thought cause
There were no teeth
He said thanks for stopping
No one does that anymore
And so it had taken him a year of walking
And yet he was far from the place he
Wanted to go
Nobody understood him he said
Everybody was afraid of him
Some who saw him
Said he was just a figment of their imagination
And looked away
And others were not so kind
And waved a cross at him
As if he would disappear
And close their eyes in fear
But not one liked him
He was a bit gloomy for
He was the only one of his kind left
Not willing to move on
Stuck in a reality that was not his
And yet he was the one who was scared
Scared of compromise or something
Scared of a lot of things
Scared of moving on and finding
His own kind that he missed
May not be the thing that
His dreams were made of
And all such crap or so I thought
Like I said I was drunk
The details were fuzzy
But the truth was clear
I didn’t know what to say
To cheer him up
A similar situation I am in
I told him so
And smiled at him
Teeth and all
He laughed at the smile
I knew so from the sound
He said I haven't seen someone
Smile and show me their teeth
In the way you just did
He got down a few miles later
I wished him luck as he did me
And a half hour later I wondered
Did that really happen
Or was that the future…
in the middle of the night
Driving down highway 54
Which adds up to nine
He had just one thumb
Which was just right
For he was waving asking
For a lift to get
On his way to wherever
I was a bit drunk
So I stopped to pick him up
He got into the car
And gave me a smile
Or so I thought cause
There were no teeth
He said thanks for stopping
No one does that anymore
And so it had taken him a year of walking
And yet he was far from the place he
Wanted to go
Nobody understood him he said
Everybody was afraid of him
Some who saw him
Said he was just a figment of their imagination
And looked away
And others were not so kind
And waved a cross at him
As if he would disappear
And close their eyes in fear
But not one liked him
He was a bit gloomy for
He was the only one of his kind left
Not willing to move on
Stuck in a reality that was not his
And yet he was the one who was scared
Scared of compromise or something
Scared of a lot of things
Scared of moving on and finding
His own kind that he missed
May not be the thing that
His dreams were made of
And all such crap or so I thought
Like I said I was drunk
The details were fuzzy
But the truth was clear
I didn’t know what to say
To cheer him up
A similar situation I am in
I told him so
And smiled at him
Teeth and all
He laughed at the smile
I knew so from the sound
He said I haven't seen someone
Smile and show me their teeth
In the way you just did
He got down a few miles later
I wished him luck as he did me
And a half hour later I wondered
Did that really happen
Or was that the future…
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Cat Stories
This reminded me of The Cat. Thats what I called her. She wasn't allowed inside the house and within a year of finding us she had become a part of all our lives. In my house back in Madras the layout was such that my study room was above the garage and its windows opened onto a balcony. One day when I came to my study room I found the cat sitting on the ironing table by the window which I had forgotten to close. Instinctively I scolded the cat in my loud voice and said " WHat are you doing in here. You know you are not allowed inside the house. Get out!!" and I pointed to the open window. She just looked back at me and gave me a concerned meow..I actually felt her say why the hell are you shouting. I am not going out through the window! I just calmed down. And said softly " Ok.. You know you are not allowed inside here. So follow me out." She got up at once and jumped down, Followed me through the house - two rooms later we were at the front door which I opened and she looked up at me gave me a meow and walked out with dignity.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Hatred- I hate
Sometimes I get this feeling of Anger
That is unexplained and contradictory
To my nature that is
Which is emboldened by a cigerette
Smoked in invincibilty
It is a feeling I cannot explain
Even to myself let alone others
Makes me feel cocky and cynical
And that I can conquer the world
With anger and hatred rather than
Try the mellow other
I thought this world could
not move me no more
with its stories of ever horror
I asked myself why
A story of say child abuse
By an organisation as big as the UN peacekeepers
Gave shock no more to me
I have become emmersed in this hatred
The world has come to spread
And I find people all around me
In different types of guilt trips
In an effort to overcome
And satisfy ones own pitiful existance
That’s all it is a lifelong guilt trip
People like to talk about these things
Like China Myanmar as if
They sypathise with the plight
And in that they are human
But I do not see any humanity in that
There are others who go
One step furthur and give
A portion of their earnings to
A fund set up to help people
In need and feel good about themselves
That too is nothing but a glorified guilt trip
And then there are those who admit
That they do not feel any feeling
And in that their strong and believe
In the survival of the fittest
In them either I do not find the humanity I look for
And yet I find humanity in small things
That I come across when I feel these strong emotions
That always bring me back to earth
And make me believe!
Something as simple as a one line email
From a sister I love very much.
That is unexplained and contradictory
To my nature that is
Which is emboldened by a cigerette
Smoked in invincibilty
It is a feeling I cannot explain
Even to myself let alone others
Makes me feel cocky and cynical
And that I can conquer the world
With anger and hatred rather than
Try the mellow other
I thought this world could
not move me no more
with its stories of ever horror
I asked myself why
A story of say child abuse
By an organisation as big as the UN peacekeepers
Gave shock no more to me
I have become emmersed in this hatred
The world has come to spread
And I find people all around me
In different types of guilt trips
In an effort to overcome
And satisfy ones own pitiful existance
That’s all it is a lifelong guilt trip
People like to talk about these things
Like China Myanmar as if
They sypathise with the plight
And in that they are human
But I do not see any humanity in that
There are others who go
One step furthur and give
A portion of their earnings to
A fund set up to help people
In need and feel good about themselves
That too is nothing but a glorified guilt trip
And then there are those who admit
That they do not feel any feeling
And in that their strong and believe
In the survival of the fittest
In them either I do not find the humanity I look for
And yet I find humanity in small things
That I come across when I feel these strong emotions
That always bring me back to earth
And make me believe!
Something as simple as a one line email
From a sister I love very much.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
The Possum or Upposum...
The night was dark. The trees were tall. There were a lot of trees for it was a forest. The forest seemed dense. You get the point as to what I am trying to describe. But trying to imagine the sights and sounds from the perspective of a little possum was difficult. It was face to face with its predator. It suddenly lay down and started emitting the foul odor of death. The predator came up to the possum and bit it in the neck nevertheless. And then suddenly it gave a howl and walked away confused. The possum bled. It saw a light despite the pain it was in. Its heart had stopped beating. And then it happened. Something likes what happens to the legendary phoenix. The bleeding had stopped and it was alive again. But nothing was the same. Never had he had the sentient sense of being before. He had been reincarnated for a reason and not allowed to pass on. And there he stood with this new found sentient sense.
Midtown
I walked around in circles. I did not know what to do. It had started with the disappearance of the neighborhood pets. The old Hag Meyabelle had claimed two of her oldest cats were missing. No one had paid attention. And then things started becoming serious. The Rutgers, Mallers and the Horns had lost their dogs on the same day. The county policemen did not know how to respond and said there was probably a predator on the loose. They had contacted the city officials who had no idea what these country bumpkins were talking about. There had been no immediate response.
But things had gone one step further towards the worse. Four little children had gone missing yesterday night among whom was little Parvathi. That was just the start of things. We were hit by a tornado. All communications were down as was the power. The two gas bunkers in the town had mysteriously blown to smithereens. The gas trailers did not come into town till Monday which was four days away. The storm had been a strange storm…. Some said it had been a freaky electric storm. None of the cars, trucks trailers would start anymore. This was freaking the hell out of us all.
We had gathered at the town house. The five hundred strong population that was our town. The sun was setting against the town house as I walked into it. The sun was in my eyes as I was partially blinded. I put my hands over my eyes which was when I saw it. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. Had it been my imagination? I did not know. But something in what I saw made me move away from the crowd. The sun set.
It was dreary dark. I could not believe how much dependence we as a species had on electricity. And how scared we became when there was no power. I headed towards the smoke. It was the old hag Mayebelle. I followed her, as quietly as I could. She was walking fast and I was having a hard time following her. She did not show any cognizance of the fact that she was being followed. The town gave way to the forest. The forest to a clearing. And then she was gone. I was spooked but the thought of little Parvathi and the other kids kept me going. I walked up to the place I saw the Hag disappear. But every time I got close I kept finding myself that much further away.
I could not understand it. It was an illusion. It had to be. And then suddenly the doorway appeared in front of me. I do not know how or why. I walked in and found the kids tied up and the foul smell of the remnants of the poor pets. I quickly untied the kids and hurried out of there as fast as could. There was an explosion behind me. Or so I thought. I held little parvathi and the other kids close to me. There was nothing left there and there was no sign of the old hag. I headed back to town with the kids wondering how I was going to explain all this without sounding like a queer. I decided to lie.
Epilogue
The shield kept all people from discovering her ship. She was almost done with her mission. She looked at the small human kids and laughed. She would be amply rewarded for the finesse with which she had carried out her mission. She laughed again at the thought of the cats and dogs in the cage in deck two. She enjoyed this.
The Possum approached the ship. He was too small for the shield to detect and adapt. He was now in and found that she had left the door open in an air of pure confidence. He approached the end of his mission. There was his light. He walked towards the light. And then it was over. He died instantly. The foul stench of his possumness spread through the ship instantly. She screeched at the site of the main reactor becoming unstable and went below to deck two in a lame attempt to try and stabilize the core.
The attempt was lame all right... for a few minutes later she was blown to oblivion without the trace of as much as a molecule. The possum, heroism known to no one, was finally at peace
Midtown
I walked around in circles. I did not know what to do. It had started with the disappearance of the neighborhood pets. The old Hag Meyabelle had claimed two of her oldest cats were missing. No one had paid attention. And then things started becoming serious. The Rutgers, Mallers and the Horns had lost their dogs on the same day. The county policemen did not know how to respond and said there was probably a predator on the loose. They had contacted the city officials who had no idea what these country bumpkins were talking about. There had been no immediate response.
But things had gone one step further towards the worse. Four little children had gone missing yesterday night among whom was little Parvathi. That was just the start of things. We were hit by a tornado. All communications were down as was the power. The two gas bunkers in the town had mysteriously blown to smithereens. The gas trailers did not come into town till Monday which was four days away. The storm had been a strange storm…. Some said it had been a freaky electric storm. None of the cars, trucks trailers would start anymore. This was freaking the hell out of us all.
We had gathered at the town house. The five hundred strong population that was our town. The sun was setting against the town house as I walked into it. The sun was in my eyes as I was partially blinded. I put my hands over my eyes which was when I saw it. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. Had it been my imagination? I did not know. But something in what I saw made me move away from the crowd. The sun set.
It was dreary dark. I could not believe how much dependence we as a species had on electricity. And how scared we became when there was no power. I headed towards the smoke. It was the old hag Mayebelle. I followed her, as quietly as I could. She was walking fast and I was having a hard time following her. She did not show any cognizance of the fact that she was being followed. The town gave way to the forest. The forest to a clearing. And then she was gone. I was spooked but the thought of little Parvathi and the other kids kept me going. I walked up to the place I saw the Hag disappear. But every time I got close I kept finding myself that much further away.
I could not understand it. It was an illusion. It had to be. And then suddenly the doorway appeared in front of me. I do not know how or why. I walked in and found the kids tied up and the foul smell of the remnants of the poor pets. I quickly untied the kids and hurried out of there as fast as could. There was an explosion behind me. Or so I thought. I held little parvathi and the other kids close to me. There was nothing left there and there was no sign of the old hag. I headed back to town with the kids wondering how I was going to explain all this without sounding like a queer. I decided to lie.
Epilogue
The shield kept all people from discovering her ship. She was almost done with her mission. She looked at the small human kids and laughed. She would be amply rewarded for the finesse with which she had carried out her mission. She laughed again at the thought of the cats and dogs in the cage in deck two. She enjoyed this.
The Possum approached the ship. He was too small for the shield to detect and adapt. He was now in and found that she had left the door open in an air of pure confidence. He approached the end of his mission. There was his light. He walked towards the light. And then it was over. He died instantly. The foul stench of his possumness spread through the ship instantly. She screeched at the site of the main reactor becoming unstable and went below to deck two in a lame attempt to try and stabilize the core.
The attempt was lame all right... for a few minutes later she was blown to oblivion without the trace of as much as a molecule. The possum, heroism known to no one, was finally at peace
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Emails from the past
Three years ago slightly edited...
"I got my visa today. This is what happened.
I got there at 7.50( my appointment wus at 8) and
afound a que that seemed like it would reach the
marina.I didnt know if i would make it to the end of
the raod(leave alone inside) by 8. So i asked guys in
the que what time their interview was. I got answers
ranging from 9.30 to 11.30. so basically i cut the que
and went atraight to the window( for check and
entering) with hundreds of people throwing silent
curses at me.
Anyways i wus inside now.I paid the dds( for the
american counsulate and the tts services) and stood
in line to get my doccuments checked.Now i had a
choice.Choice one wus a middle aged lady who didnt
seem to know that there was a mike and bullet proof
glass in front of her and choice two wus a cute lady
in her late twentys with priety zinta type of glasses.
obviosly ( being the shallow person that r all males)
i took choice no.2.Boy wus i tortured for that. She
took what seemed like ages to procees just two guys in
front of me.ppl who arrived after me where already
finished with the ch:1 lady and were gone fer the
interview while i wus there waiting.. waiting..
waiting.. i guess u get the picture.( moral of the
story the cliched u can never find a girl with beauty
as well as brains-- haha)
now i wus inside and wus directly sent to a que for
the interview. i had just one person before me.
his interview went as
Foriener: what r u gonna do in the us
this guy: i going to come back to india use the
techniques i learnt and work for the greater good of
not only the indian economy but also the greater good
of mankind as well.
the ferengi looks at him then says that wus not the
question i asked.
....... iam sorry to say that i am rejecting ur visa!
(myself : oh my god this must be the guy who is there
to reject all visas so that they have a normally
distributed rejection rate... i am doomed ... oh my
god...
the words
"please come forward" broke my reverie.
ferengi : why this university
self: i have been lokin at the resaerch blah blah
blah......
ferengi: how are u gonna pay fer it
self: i am taking an education loan and my dad is also
helpin out
ferengi: abruptly what r u gonna do afterwards
self( thinking: probabaly take a toilet break no he
must mean after the course) and before i think it out
i find myself saying "i am going to (dont say work u
goddamn idiot ur visa will surely get rejected )
"WORK" as the prosepects blah blah...
ferengi: u still havent said where ( looks at me
expectently probably thinking say the magic word " usa
" come on give me the pleasure let me reject ur visa
come on come on ...)
self: obviosly i am coming back to india because blah
blah blah ....
ferengi : there is no visa issuance fee for students
thank you ( and smiles)
and that is me story. hope havent wasted two minute s
of yer time."
"I got my visa today. This is what happened.
I got there at 7.50( my appointment wus at 8) and
afound a que that seemed like it would reach the
marina.I didnt know if i would make it to the end of
the raod(leave alone inside) by 8. So i asked guys in
the que what time their interview was. I got answers
ranging from 9.30 to 11.30. so basically i cut the que
and went atraight to the window( for check and
entering) with hundreds of people throwing silent
curses at me.
Anyways i wus inside now.I paid the dds( for the
american counsulate and the tts services) and stood
in line to get my doccuments checked.Now i had a
choice.Choice one wus a middle aged lady who didnt
seem to know that there was a mike and bullet proof
glass in front of her and choice two wus a cute lady
in her late twentys with priety zinta type of glasses.
obviosly ( being the shallow person that r all males)
i took choice no.2.Boy wus i tortured for that. She
took what seemed like ages to procees just two guys in
front of me.ppl who arrived after me where already
finished with the ch:1 lady and were gone fer the
interview while i wus there waiting.. waiting..
waiting.. i guess u get the picture.( moral of the
story the cliched u can never find a girl with beauty
as well as brains-- haha)
now i wus inside and wus directly sent to a que for
the interview. i had just one person before me.
his interview went as
Foriener: what r u gonna do in the us
this guy: i going to come back to india use the
techniques i learnt and work for the greater good of
not only the indian economy but also the greater good
of mankind as well.
the ferengi looks at him then says that wus not the
question i asked.
....... iam sorry to say that i am rejecting ur visa!
(myself : oh my god this must be the guy who is there
to reject all visas so that they have a normally
distributed rejection rate... i am doomed ... oh my
god...
the words
"please come forward" broke my reverie.
ferengi : why this university
self: i have been lokin at the resaerch blah blah
blah......
ferengi: how are u gonna pay fer it
self: i am taking an education loan and my dad is also
helpin out
ferengi: abruptly what r u gonna do afterwards
self( thinking: probabaly take a toilet break no he
must mean after the course) and before i think it out
i find myself saying "i am going to (dont say work u
goddamn idiot ur visa will surely get rejected )
"WORK" as the prosepects blah blah...
ferengi: u still havent said where ( looks at me
expectently probably thinking say the magic word " usa
" come on give me the pleasure let me reject ur visa
come on come on ...)
self: obviosly i am coming back to india because blah
blah blah ....
ferengi : there is no visa issuance fee for students
thank you ( and smiles)
and that is me story. hope havent wasted two minute s
of yer time."
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