Tagged

The theory of Sankyosis or being able to guide ones thoughts through a maze any kind of maze, the maze being defined by the user was perfected by Dr. Gaber Wallpee in the year 2277. The scientific community had been at loggerheads of generations debating the true theory behind the work for Dr.Gaber had been using a revolutionary new science to prove his theory- Psychokinetics. I had been a research assistant for years under Dr.Gaber and though I had never been able to grasp his amendment to the main postulate, my background being in pure Psycholectia I had been, more importantly, able to grasp the signs he used to predict random events very accurately.

Why am I telling you all this. This might be close to the story of the chicken or the egg. Being involved in highly secret government research had its boons and its banes. And right now I was in a tight situation. I had been caught in a time warp on route to Alpha 1 and was now stuck in the 21st century. I had seen my ship my tools and everything I knew evaporate around me as I went back to a time they did not exist but I could not understand why I continued to exist. If I ever get back that would be one paradox the scientific community would grab at to grapple about. I laughed. I had landed in the middle of a state known as Kansas in what was then the United States of America. I found this funny for I saw myself as Dorothy. To someone else this might have been interpreted as a freaky coincidence. But I knew better. I could explain that now but that would spoil the aura of what I am about tell wouldn’t it.

Having found appropriate attire I started looking around for a tool to help guide me through this primitive culture. Most time travel stories and theories had been based of the fact that the person not being in his own time and having managed to travel to the past was out of place then and there and hence in doing so would alter history drastically. But they never took the theory of Psychokinetics into consideration. Part of which can be explained as- the various time periods move at the same rate and very much interconnected so much to say that changing an event in the future was much more drastic as it changed the past drastically thus affecting a larger populous.

I found what I had been looking for. I grabbed it and came out of the farm house as quietly as I could. This would be my guiding tool to get me back to my own future. It took me some time to figure out the primitive device but I had it figured soon. I switched it on and applied the science of random quantification to it- I pressed the shuffle button and read—

Tears – Dream Theatre

I looked around and new the direction I needed to take. There was the billboard that said- Turn your tears to laughter. Make your dreams come true at the Atery. Come and …. I started walking. The night was still young. I must have walked about an hour. It was the fourth intersection I had come across. As I walked past it a young lady came up to me and asked me for a cigarette light. I shuffled-

Standing in motion- Yanni

I looked up at her and said “I do not smoke”. She just smiled back at me and walked away. I knew I had to wait. But what I could not predict was for how long. It must have been an hour that I stood in the same spot when the young lady came back and asked me,” Are you all right? You been standing right here since the …” She looked at me strangely. I pressed shuffle and said-

Snowballed –AC/DC (For those about to rock)

She looked at me and said,” Excuse me ..?? “ and then turned and started walking in a huff. I ran up behind her and lied,” I am sorry—I thought you asked what I was listening to. I think you misconstrued me. It was just a coincidence“ I smiled sweetly at her. I say I lied cause I do not believe in coincidences but that is a different issue for a different day.
She looked at me and said,” You have been given the benefit of the doubt… what were you doing standing there?” I said,” Waiting for you to come back” She laughed,” You are strange….you don’t look like you are from here. Where are you from?” I shuffled…

EKWG- Unknown artist


It took me a few seconds to interpret and then I said,” I am from the year 2284. I was caught in a time warp and now am stuck here trying to find my way back…” She started laughing loudly.I said,” I am Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig by the way” she said—“ I am Dorothy..” I shuffled

Crossfire- Scorpions

I said,” Would it be too impudent of me to ask you to dinner at the Crossfire?” She simply said,” When?”I said as soon as I locate where the restaurant Is at. She laughed,” I know where it’s at! Come on” A few blocks of walking later we came to the Crossfire—it was a classy restaurant with live jazz music. As we entered I shuffled…

Hell cat- Scorpions

I knew we had to enter cause that was the insignia that the Cross fire had adopted-- the Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter aircraft. We got ourselves a table. We sat down and the waiter came up to us and said,” Monsieur, lady… what can I get you?” I shuffled…

Mona Lisa—Matrix reloaded

I looked around. It was then I saw him. He had been presumed to be dead when he disappeared about four years ago in 2280 that is. I smiled. I ordered wine and excused myself. I walked up to him and said,” Hello Dr.Wallpee… its nice to see you again” He looked up at me and smiled,” You have used the theory well my student to find me… but what brought you here in the first place?” I brought him up to date (which date though I am still confused) and my situation. I needed to find a way back to my future. He looked at me and laughed,” Its good to see you again. Though the probability of meeting anyone from my past ….(he laughed—“that always cracks me up when I say that” )… what was I saying yes the probability was quite equiangular but I did not expect too… “ He looked at me expectantly. I shuffled

Come as you are- Nirvana (Nevermind)

I looked around confused. I had finally been stumped. And then it struck me. This one was not for me. I showed the track to him. He said,” There is a rock station across town called “Nevermind”. I hypothesize that you will find a cosmic point to make your journey back. Do not forget… you would have to go as you came. Do not take back anything – not even your acquired clothes” I gave him a hug.
As I walked back towards Dorothy I shuffled..

Khamoshiyan Muskurane lagi – One two ka four (AR Rahaman)

I knew I needed help. I said,” Dorothy I need some help. I need to get to the Nevermind radio station across town.” A few minutes later we got into her car. Her number plates read- KML 124. We were soon at the Nevermind radio station. Now that we were here I shuffled-

Vennilave – AR rahaman (Minnisare Knnavu)

I looked up. It was about to rain. There was lightning all about that made the moon look silver in color to the naked eye. The radio station had a huge radio tower on the roof of the building as was a lightning conductor. I needed to get to the roof. She looked at me and said ,” I have a key—I am one of the producers …” I smiled.
Once on the roof of the building I shuffled-

The outlaw torn- Metallica

I had to make a decision. I turned to her and said, “What I told you earlier—it was true. I think we are meant to be together. But the fabric of space and time will be broken if we go back to my present. The only way is to go back to the past… the Psychokinetics will make the decision as to which time period. But you have to make a decision if you want to come..” I broke the lightning conductor and walked up to the radio toewer and placed a hand on it. She looked at me as if I was crazy. I did not know why she had come so far in trusting a stranger….

The year—1895
I started writing The Wizard of OZ. We had changed our names to Frank Baum and Maud. You can find out what happened next—Its history. I told you-- you wouldn’t believe if I had told you earlier….

Authors note--

This is a result of being tagged by Mac-san. I found it more interesting to do it this way..:)... And I kept to the rules generally cause everytime I needed a twist or to take the story forward-- I shuffled and was honest with the song that came up to direct the story...

Self pity...

Today I saw a piece of white plastic
Stuck on a tree without leaves
As I looked up at it I could see the sky
The tree though short I could not set free
The white piece of plastic that was stuck to
But a branch on that tree

I saw it as a sign for how my life stands
for in that plastic as alien to the tree
without leaves I see my self
on the threshold of all my dreams
but on hold without being set free

stuck on the topmost branch
just but a yard away from flying high
to achieve the great and pursue happiness
but being held back for reason known not
the futility of it all just hit me
as a harsh cold breeze blew into my face

I fear feeling pity for myself
In world not short on self pity
That I cannot blame any one person
Or thing for that matter
And be done with it so to say
On being held back without
Being allowed to fly in the sky so high

But I am stuck on that bracnh for now
With no apparent help but I dare hope
That someday soon things will be clear
As to why I have to feel this fear
And how should I face it for
Now I am lost but not the hope

Prayers are strong as is goodwill
That is one thing I am not short or shy of
At the moment as things stand
They are the two weapons that I embrace
In the fight so to say to set free
That piece of plastic white as can be
Into the high skies and beam like a light
In the dark blue skies….

The muddy puddle called water...

Everything seemed to be really happy. Even a muddy puddle of water looked crystal clear to me. I looked up smiling I had booked the room in the hotel for the next three days. And then suddenly I was standing in drain pipe way below earth level. That was when I saw it. The pink bunny came out of the door. It had a big key in its back. A machine gun appeared from nowhere and it started firing menacingly. I thought it was firing at me but that was not the case. I was but an observer. What was it firing at? Come on… do I have to stop it?

I got up… perspiration all over me. It had to be an allegory for something. And why was I now sure that JK Rowling was a pseudonym and a well hidden truth about my aunt? It all made no sense. My aunt came into the room and said,” Are you all right? I heard you screaming….” She looked terrified. I started blabbering,” It’s got to have some meaning—you are JK Rowling?” … And then I started remembering things.
I had witnessed the murder hadn’t I…? I started feeling sick all over. The guy had popped out of nowhere and I had not been able to save the kid. He had been shot right in front of me and I had watched helpless. It did not make sense still to me. My aunt brought me some water and I gulped it down. I got up and walked around the house, quick paced to try and find meaning in my actions. I looked at my aunt and said,” But I have a room booked for three days…” And then it struck me… I could not remember the actual date when I had booked the room. And I turned to my aunt and said,” They must still be charging for the room. I can’t even remember when I booked the room. This means I will soon be bankrupt.” She looked at me bewildered. Why was she wearing a bonnet inside the house? Of course it was about to rain was it not!

I got up, “What the hell was that?” I need some water. I walked to the kitchen sink and got meself a glass of cold water. I splashed my face with the water. I was awake. It was snowing heavily outside. But in here I was safe in my boxers. Apparently there was nothing to fear. I laughed out loud like a maniac. That’s what my psyche made me comfortable with when I was scared. One of the many perks of being alone in an apartment in the city. No one took notice. I went back to sleep.

It was lunch time the next day and a time I used to ponder on the events that afflict humanity. I had simple answers and solutions to all of life’s problems. But not having a psychology degree…. Nobody was willing to listen to me. My cell phone rang. I contemplated being in contact with another human voice in an hour that I wished not to be disturbed. But then it was probably someone in need for help… a damsel in distress maybe… I picked up… the voice on the other end said,” Sir, your credit card finally bounced.. So we are cancelling your booked room. Please stop by the Ritz and settle previous balances” and the line went dead. Oh my god. Was I dreaming again? This seemed vaguely familiar. I pinched meself. I was certainly awake based on the theory that pinching oneself in a dream would wake them up. Assuming that was true I started driving to the Ritz. I somehow had the feeling I would be able to settle this and be back at work by the end of the hour.

I found the Ritz thanx to my trusty gladiatorial friend- the monsieur GPS. The manager soon greeted me. He said,” Sir your things are intact as we discussed…” and he winked. I said surprised,” do you know me?... ” He smiled again. He gave me the key to a room I presumed and disappeared on a pretense of being extremely busy. I walked up the stairs and open the room with the number 1818. I walked into the room and found a pair of boots by the doorway that was my size. As I walked past them I saw a dart gun sticking out of it. I curiously picked it up. I looked back up. And there it was. A puppet pink bunny with a big key on its back. I jolted... and then picked it up. I turned the key and the rug under me gave away and I slid down onto a garbage chute and landed into a pile of garbage. I picked myself up and almost puked. The smell of garbage was fine… I was used to that… but the sick smell of a freshener used to get rid of the smell in it got to me. I started walking calling out,” Can someone hear me… I seemed to have slipped and fallen down a hole”… just like Alice…. Yah I was comparing meself to a little girl…. I felt like one in this dark hell.

And then I saw a girl held in a chair and a child by her… guarding? I was not sure. But as I drew closer I knew what I had to do. I pulled out the dart gun and aimed at the child. I ran up to the girl and freed her.

Epilogue

“I do not know how I broke through the toughest security and released her…” I shouted for the umpteenth time. There were four secret service agents sitting across me. I had killed an agent in the process. I could not believe that. Somehow she had altered perception of reality for me. I could not explain. The agents looked at each other and one said,” We are going to have him drugged..” I cried,” No.. Please no… It was not my fault. ,,,,,,,, wake up please wake up… please wake up….” But this was reality???

Bday Post...

To sum up 25 years of blissful Ignorance:

Greed:
On the eve of a first Bday celebration at school a really young boy looks at a box full of chocolates and decides to tell mummy dearest,” Amma no one knows it’s my Bday tomorrow—I will just wear normal clothes- no need to celebrate and all ok??”

Smart:
On the way to Tirupathi sometime in the 90s—a govt vehicle overtakes our bus on the inside on a hairpin bend almost toppling everyone in it including a to be young perverted but right now innocent brain into oblivion. The bus stops sometime later a tea station where the car in question is spotted. Everyone except Appa rushes to the driver of the govt vehicle screaming. The govt driver says.” This govt vehicle – we can do anything we want...” and laughs wickedly. Even though young observations are made as to why a generally impatient dad when mummy is involved is so calm and collected and even smiles at the then young impressionable mind. As the bus rolls out – everybody still frustrated with the govt driver in question- one is surprised as everybody starts laughing out loud- the young impressionable mind looks up to dad to see him holding something up- the keys to the govt car in question!!
The Bihari brought up tam bram dad had flicked the keys from the car as others had chosen to confront the driver!

Sentiment:
Big bro having left the house – finally one comes to believe that the title of undisputed king will no longer be questioned—so the king decides to take the brand new indica out for a spin. As he picks up his friend the king reverses the car without as much as looking behind smiling in ignorant confidence—Bang! He backs straight into a bamboo stock albeit moronically placed in the middle of the road… though till today it is highly questionable as to whom the moron can be directed at… as the king drives back he has a hundred things running through his mind- “how can I make this a convincing lie??? ---that moronic auto driver banged the back of the car and ran away!! It’s got to work” The story is repeated over and over so that the king could almost convince himself that it was true…
Enter Dad after a stressful day... the king goes up to him nervously… for some reason he finds himself saying...” appa I did something totally stupid—I backed the car into a bamboo... totally my fault appa..”Appa stares at the king and says sternly” who the hell allowed you to take the car!...”
Three more hours of silence later-- Appa” I am glad you had the courage to tell the truth… I must have done something right with you…”
Though Dad has fergotten over the years what transpired that day—in the kings mind those words at the end meant a lot more than anything else ever had…

Snubbed:
PTA meeting 5th grade- Amma to teacher,” I don’t know what I am going to do with him.. he watches TV all day” Teacher,” Oh really? That’s good- he is one of the brightest students in the class—obviously that’s working- encourage it more”… well over the years obviously what I heard the teacher say has been probably changed.. but truthfully in essence it meant that and Amma laughed with me on the way back as we got into the cycle rickshaw…

Failure:
A medium sized awkward kid of something like ten sits at his bench crying.. as everybody inquires he cries,” I have never failed an exam before in my life and I think I failed physics” and continues crying.. soon the physics teacher comes up and pulls him to his room corrects the paper in front of him and says “Arre why are you crying see you have passed you are getting 34 on 50”.. he smiles gets back to class and then starts thinking again” what just 34 everybody is going to get above 40 .. my rank is going to go down…..

Happiness:

UKG- As I get to the gate my auto driver is not there and the chowkidaar wouldn’t allow me out till he came. I decided to escape through the iron railings as he looks the other way and decide to walk 5 km back home. As I do so it starts to rain. I sing and dance in the rain and continue walking. I see our neighbor and wave at him and he in his own world just waves back at me ( Two older people who brought this kid up are still perplexed as to why that uncle did not catch and pull one with the help of a ear lobe) about an hour and a half later one reaches the street of home sweet home to find a mom standing at the head… one is supposed to have giggled to her,” ummmmm I escaped….”

Doctors are Perplexed:

At age three one would not eat unless on top of the bonnet of the ambassador. As amma goes to bring more food- one slides down onto a thick wall edge – 4 stitches on the forehead…
4 weeks later… the day the stitches are to be removed—one is sitting on a high ledge 3 feet above the ground level--- an hour later the doctor looks at the bleeding forehead and says after a while perplexed…” Do I remove the stitches from this side and put them onto the other side of his forehead???”
The incidents with the fore head being split open happened a couple more time btw- explains a lot doesn’t it??


That’s some of which that defined 25 to me today—I feel old and insignificant….

Ghandhigiri??

Asimov as a writer influenced my thinking at a poignant age towards the decadence of a society at the height of its progress. He taught of signs which definitely pointed towards decadence when a majority of the society where blissfully ignorant of such decadence and unwilling to change which is a sure sign of a peak of advancement as it is of a fall imminent. The scary thing is that all these signs can be seen with the Indian society that has survived generations past, of invasions and changes galore. Who would have thought that now we are looking to divide even past cast creed and religion and the anti social elements along with a scary mob culture that has developed can take control and divide as Marathi’s being different from North Indians? There have of course been similar movements in Tamil nadu since before I was born and developed in Bangalore in the past few years as well.

Three movies that I have watched in the recent past brought cohesion to my thought process on the nature of a revolution being- Charlie Wilson’s War, The Kite runner and Persepolis. They have a similar theme if you look at them as a whole. The first two talked of decadence in the Afghanistan region and the third extremely creatively of the same in Iran. They start off with the countries being on the brink of revolution where in the intelligentsia of the society meet consistently in a euphony that the revolution would bring the much needed change from a tyranny that was tying down the society. But in the wake of a bloody revolution the elements that come to power are the most tyrannical- the people as such who are willing to take blood rather than give for the revolution. And those are the elements that come to power!

That put in with some western capitalistic gain driven policies have driven the two countries into the so called dark ages. There are such stark similarities in the decadence that it pretty much scares me. The stark banality of thought process being that the state decides what women should wear, how they should behave in public and denying basic modern human rights such as education and a free thought flow process which scares the hell out of these tyrannical elements because of a basic fear of progress in the name of a vile “western” influence. These elements are not willing to adapt to a changing modern thought process on various issues that affect the society and are more involved in short term gains and a self pity rather than being a visionary for their fellow human beings.

All of this led me to see why Gandhi was such a visionary in his own time! Being born neither during the wake of pre or post independence but something like 40 years after I was exposed to two imposingly opposite thought processes on Gandhi- One being unrelenting hatred towards his policies that supposedly pushed back independence by twenty years and put the Nehru family at the forefront of policy making and the other that reveres his patience for the peaceful way always. But think about it. Would we have rather wanted a bloody revolution say in the 1920’s with the people who were willing to spill blood to be the very founders of the country? In that alone I could see what Gandhi was thinking some 50 years after independence. He was not thinking of just his generation but for generations’ way past his lifetime. He persisted with his main weapon of “Ghandhigiri” through times rough and then rougher and made sure that the anti social elements do not form the foundation of the society he envisioned. In this I am not trying to judge Bhagat Singh or Subhash Chandra Bose or their perseverance for independence. They were great men no doubt who were willing to give their lives as well for the cause. But not every Indian who followed their ideals would have been like them i.e, more willing to give their blood rather than spill blood with an emphasis on more.

Gandhi’s policies were patience driven with an emphasis on giving time for things to work out rather than be brash and look to gain on the short term. It was amazing the way he was able to mobilize and unite a country so different on so many levels and yet stick to his ideals. I was talking to a friend S along those lines and he pointed out some very poignant thoughts. Gandhi, he said, did not proclaim to be a saint who was trying to be a politician but a politician who was trying to be a saint!

It is sad that a country that was founded on such ideals now does not see much light in that. It absolutely saddens me the current state of affairs. In the last few weeks I have heard of a mob that doesn’t mind molesting women on weak pretenses, a mob motivated to violence against fellow Indians in the name of dominant regionalism, and the Tamil Nadu legislature discussing what dresses film actresses should wear! I ask a banal question in- is this what national policy makers be worried about? And how different are these thoughts from the radical thoughts that dominate the Taliban in Afghanistan or that in Iran? They are no different…

Chandramouli --On the run the continuing adventures:

*inspired to complete the chandramouli trilogy thanks to this bata thatha series that I came across recently...


Chandramouli had decided after his tryst with phorin females that the way to go was arranged marriage So on a trip back home he decided to go the safe way as in arranged dating- the new concept that had evolved in his absence from the country for the last 4 years in his persuit for scientific happiness. Gone were the days were the boy with his parents visited to see the girl. He had seen this happen to his younger uncle and aunts when he was supposedly the cute kid who played cupid. The girl would come into the room full of relatives apparently decked up carrying a tray of tea biscuits and some namkeens and she would be looking down never to face anybody and as she passed the boy one of the relatives had to say, “we oldies should give these youngsters some time alone to decide” and then everybody for apparently no reason would burst out laughing. And as the girl and boy went to the terrace to decide life love and other things the mother would send him to be the “cute cupid” who in actuality prevented any apparent obscenity from happening.

Chandramouli sighed at how easy things had been then. Now the girl wanted to date him to find out how he was and what level was his intellectuality at. Weather he had an opinion on things like global warming ? Very important question. Everybody had their take on global warming these days. Great scientists like – Aishwarya rai, Amith ji and many more such revered scientists. Well at least he was really excited for the first time during his “India trip”. This trip hadn’t been what he had expected it to be. He had expected to be treated like a superstar as he was “phorin return” after all. But nobody had taken notice. Everybody had a son, daughter, uncle or aunt who had been abroad. Rather than be even treated with respect some had gone the other way in accusing him of being unpatriotic in ditching India for the “golden life” to a different country and not staying in India being patriotic and oh of course having opinions on global warming. How could he tell them that there was not one institute that researched in the field of nano paint fabrication or that the governments total budget towards the R and D of scientific technology added up to a gross sum of zero. That the education ministry was more concerned with the number of seats in the iim s rather than be worried about providing primary education to every child? But had he asked these questions he knew the response he would get- “You have no right to be asking “us” these questions u traitor. You should not be talking bad about India. We never do that – we are patriotic” And to top it all most of the girls who were available for arranged dating were scared to go out with him in case a mob decided to molest im-moralistic NRIs.

Finally his mother’s perseverance had paid and a nice Indian sounding named girl – Ramya was his date. His mother had given him strict instructions-
1) Do not try to kiss her on the cheek to say hello – u r not in amrika u know
2) Do not hug her to say good bye
3) Always stay 4 feet away from her
4) Make sure she is wearing a bindi otherwise I am not sure I would be ok with you marrying her
5) And make sure she has earings
6) It’s ok if she is not wearing a nose ring- after all it is the age of women’s lib

He had just nodded his head as he had always done in front of his mom. And now he was waiting at the bus stop for Ramya. He had been advised not to pick her up from home cause it was likely that he would be invited in thus raising the hope of the girl’s parents and this was certainly a no-no. He needed to take their feelings into consideration didn’t he now. He had been waiting fifteen minutes and then he saw a girl on the road divider 18 feet away. She was trying to cross the road but seemed not to know which side she wanted to be on. She would turn one way and then decide that the other way was the way to go. He was piqued by her behavior. Finally she decided to cross the road towards his side. She was wearing salwar kameez , had a bindi and ear rings but no nose ring. And she came upto him and broke his reverie- “Chandramoli..??” and he found himself saying “ yes??” R“ Hi I am Ramya” Now Chandramouli had watched Sivaji and had leant from the thalaver of philosophy how an NRI should behave in india and keeping upto that he found himself saying, “Coool”

They walked to a restaurant which was but 5 feet away. Chandramouli had made sure that the tables in the place measured to be more than 4 feet in width. All was well till now. He smiled when he thought of his friend back in the states. His friend was “liking” a girl in his workplace. But each time he had built up the courage to go ask her out something had befallen the girl- she had ordered lunch, had a doctor’s appointment, had her boss in her cabin and then finally when she had been free she told him that she was going to Washington over the weekend to be with her “new” boy friend. He had cursed himself at his luck but Chandramouli had chuckled at all of this. He was above him for he knew the cause. It was an ardha shastra called the Mothers Ashirvaadam that had protected the son from doing such profanely obscure things.

They talked over lunch. He had made a very good impression on Ramya. Having watched lage raho munnabhai he knew how to impress her as well. He made sure he did not call the waiter as “ chhh chhhhchchchh idhar aa”. That one thing might have as well decided things in his favour. They talked for quite a while and then came the question that would probably twist things in his favor,” what do you think of global warming?”. He was prepared- he said,” I totally agree with Amith ji on that- the devastation that green house gasses are causing mother India is abominal. In fact I cycled all the way here and made sure the restaurant was in walking distance for you as well. So that the only fuel we burnt today was perspiration” She was certainly swayed. He smiled inwardly.

She said to him,” you know I have a confession to make. When I was crossing the road I had second thoughts about meeting you. I thought you would be like all those NRIS like that guy from the movie “Pardes”- Apurva Agnihotri I think and be without any Indian culture and values. But I am so glad to have met you. To be precise the things that sawyed me are that you have an opinion on global warming and you did not order mineral water like Bisleri like all those other NRI freaks” Chandramouli did not have the heart to tell her that he had not touched the water and had not trusted bisleri since the scandal that had showcased that they were using ditch water as a source.
Chandramouli was happy. He thought he had found bliss in it all and as he walked Ramya home she suddenly looked at him extremely cross and said,” Of all the nerve! Just when I thought you werent like all those NRIs you most certainly are you pig how dare you!” Chandramouli was flabbergasted. He did not know what he had done wrong. And then the application of the deep mathematical theory of gamst probability he realized he was but “3 feet” from Ramya.

She walked away in a huff as Chandramouli stood in her wake….

AUTHORS NOTE:

How cool is this I get to do an authors note..:D this story wudnt be possible without a certain chain of events- 1 - A's idea for she was great resource..:) and S's adventures- he helps me out a lot of the times and I would sincerley like to thank the shiv sena for enforcing law and order in india and inspire mobs everywhere to preserve us against western domination... and of course the usual stuff- I do not ascribe to what I write and all..

The Chandramouli stories:

2) Chandramouli - The redux stories

1) Theoretically I knew who the killer was.....

Kung fu Jack ass vs the roach from Outer Space

*when the universe conspires against me- I try and conspire against the universe!

The roaches had escaped into outerspace
Having given up on human kind
And developed an advanced race
On the planet beta K

Having lived out a million genrations
In the time we grew but one day
They were now much more advanced
And their leader named Kniving K
Soon had plans of world domination

She headed the first fleet in a wave
Soon to follow in her depths
And stood at the shores of earth
One fine day which by the way
Was just two days since yesterday

But little did kniVing K expect
That her plans were to be countered
By the one savior humankind did not know of
Who else but the inferior hero
Kung fu Jackass was his name

He had hee haawed all his life
In the back yard of a mortal scientist
And but two days earlier had swallowed
The solution the scientist had left
Unattented in the barnyard
Thinking it to be ass lotion
But in actuality that was
The elixir of an inferior hero

“Hee haw” he brayed having
Flown out to meet the roach invasion
“Who is thy leader” ,he asked
I challenge thee to battle of unwits

K looked at him and laughed
“You dare tread my path
What nonsense do you talk
Unwits you say to the wittiest of all!”

“Kungfu Jackass is my name
Dumbness is my game
Beat me at my own dumbness
And earth will be your game
For if you are able to beat me
Oh kind mistress
George bush will be easy pray!”

And so saying started the battle of unwits they say
A legend was surely created that day
At the shores of earth they still stood
Kniving K having accepted the battle of Unwits
With Kung fu Jackass facing her
Without any fear they say

Many a dumb question was asked
Some of which were
“ if Kniving K is wearing pepe Jeans then who’s
Jean is Pepe wearing?”
“if an ant wears invisible underpants then how will the
Elephant talk to a lion”
“ Will George Bush decide to invade Sweedan
Because they made fun of his underpants”

The battle of unwits was at a standstill
And that was when Kung Fu Jackass
Showed his A game
He looked at Kniving K and asked
“if the answer to all questions of love is 41
And the question to 41 is 22
That but prooves the theorem of life which equates to
If you invade the planet earth
Then you will be married to Kung fu Jackass!”

The roach cried out “you have been defeated!
You did not ask a dumb question in that
You just prooved the answer to life that human kind
Has been looking for their whole measly lives
But you are smart Kung fu Jackass!
For you know now I cannot invade earth
For else I would become Mrs Jackass “


And as the roaches retreated to Beta K
Kung fu Jackass Hee haawed all day
And that is how he saved
All our lame asses that day!



(Jackass pronounced as Chakaaasss with the waving of arms)

This is fourth in the series of roach songs btw:

3)Another Cockroach Song
2)The roach strikes again
1)The Cockroach Song