Sometimes ....

A long time ago .... when I think I was in the 11th std ... I was playing in a house cricket match. I never was much of a cricket player ... more a soccer player... but being assistant house captain I was there to fill the numbers. The other team was winning and it was down to one partnership that we weren't able to break. And everyone on the team was angry with me for giving away a strategy - I blurted out there is no fielder at square leg which was the team strategy that I didn't pay attention too... :D ... anyway I was at mid wicket sulking a bit when an over throw came in my direction. I chased the ball turned around and threw it back. It bounced twice and hit the wicket on the bowlers end. And then everyone started shouting and came running towards me. I didn't comprehend what had happened cause I thought the runner was well in. Apparently he hadn't grounded his bat! That was the turning point in the match.. :D

Anyway all these years later I remembered that incident right now cause I am in a similar situation in life.. I am chasing the ball... turning and throwing blindly and hoping its a turning point....

The thing about time travel...

The year: 2030
The place: Peoria, IL

The city was bustling and thriving. What was thirty year as ago but a small town was now one of the biggest and most modern of places. People all over... Pushing shoving bustling trying to get to work. It was mid Monday morning... No one heard him scream. They trampled over him not even noticing his sudden appearance. He finally managed to get up and brush off the foot marks of his coat. He hadn’t been injured much but for a few bruises. He walked into mall in front of him with a smile on his face.

The story:

“I do not believe time travel is possible”, I remarked. There had been about 7 rounds of scotch that had done the rounds. Scott looked up at me dazed and said,” Like I care.. Go F yourself you horrid…” He didn’t mean it.. I laughed…. That’s when the pager rang…

I washed my face with cold water as did Scott. We drove as fast as we could to the intersection of Patterson and Helding. There was shriveled body of a 67 year old lady on the pavement.. I must have been seeing things… Scott headed towards the body as I stood back… I was sure I had… I had.. Seen a ghost? … couldn’t be… it had been but for a second… but no it was not possible… must be the scotch talking I reminded myself…

I looked down at the body. No signs of a homicide and yet it was one. Just like the seven others- she was a “Perry” too. Soon Destiny Perry was at the scene, the last of them. She was the last of the Perry’s, God she made me…. She smiled at me… and then looked down at her aunt. She slipped something into my palm.

Three hours later I was at decrepit pub in this fucking loser place called Peoria. But what made the difference in my attitude this lovely night was a Ms Perry who was sitting across me. She smiled coyly at me and then told me what I had been missing on the case all these months. I was about to say something when…. I screamed…. She moved slightly … a pointed sort of thing missed her my millimeters.. the ghost!

I Jumped up at it….. I was pulled into a Vortex and the last thing I saw was Destiny look with surprise at me…

He didn’t know I was with him. He didn’t see me follow him into the mall. I couldn’t believe the place I was in. I saw him go into a shop with the name- Destiny’s Macks- the Future… I walked in and he was facing me, smiled and said, “Hello Father…My billionaire father ... I killed because you asked me too… I can’t tell you more”
Something struck me and I lost consciousness…


I woke up in Destinys arms… and she was crying softly … and as I opened my eyes she gave a sigh of relief and kissed me hard…. I was dazed…

Sisters

Talking about sentiments is never easy
when there is humor to always bank upon
and being from a family of humorists
which I am sure you did not know
makes it all that much tougher
or so I say

I was talking to a friend named Joe
and he said whenever he was on the telephone
with his sister that is
his shoulders would ache after an hour
for that is how much they would laugh
each time they were on the phone

I found this story remenicient
of conversations with both of thou
and I cherish these conversations
sometimes long and sometimes short
that make me forget how far I am
from people who care so much

which comes to the point I am trying to make
though far from it I might seem
words are the most powerful sentiments
and that is how I wish to express
my love and gratitude to have sisters as thou
and just say wish you both
all the success that can be behest by a loving bro

Happy Rakshabandan..:)

She is also saying the same thing only

I was walking down a beautiful road
And minding my own business at that
When a young boy not of four
Came up the other way
Sucking on his little sucker
Looking serenely at his mother

Look at that fat uncle he said
And sniggered at his mother
And his mother said
“you do not call “fat” people
Fat young one .. mind your manner”
And smiled at me as if
She had just done the greatest thing
On the planet earth

Affronted I was at what she said
More so than what the little child
Commented in his innocence
I presumed
I could not help saying
“Excuse me madam
But what is that supposed to mean?”

She was a little frightened at my
Strong baritone I presumed
For she blinked her eyes twice
And looked at me with a smile
The smile gave way to laughter
An uncontrollable laughter at that

My blood was now boiling
What a rude lady at that
I was going to say things
And yet the gentle me won out
For there was a young one in the vicinity
But something had to be done

I looked at her sternly and said
“ Madam please… think of what
Example you are setting for the young one..”
My look must have scared her a little
For she started controlling her laughter
And I thought a lesson I had taught her
And was feeling a little smug

And then I heard her say between her
Controlled bouts of laughter
“your zipper sir…”

Maniac

Dedication- to the bestest scrabble player I know! inspiration for me into the realm of SF...

Somewhere at the edge of some galaxy

The alarms sounded. There was frenzy with all the security bots sheltering hither and thither. A space ship lifted off the facility. He was in it and left out a cry. Having been imprisoned for the last 40 years in solitude would have driven any entity mad. But not he…

They were on his tail. He knew what had to be done. He had worked on this plan to the very last detail. He was only one hyper jump away from the third planet from a distant star. He had chosen an oblivious primitive habituated planet. He put his invention to motion. He used his newly acquired ship sensors to sweep the planet. He zoned in on the baby that had the highest probability of survival. As he entered the planet’s atmosphere his invention started to miniaturize everything around him. So much so that when he reached his target he was but the size of a virus that penetrated the baby’s soft neck and embedded itself in the cortical space below the medulla oblongata and leeched onto the human system for nourishment.


Age 10

He stared at the dog with no fear in his eyes. His eyes were blood red and his fore head was throbbing. And then he gave a maniacal laugh. The dog was twice his size and charged at him. He stood his ground.
Let it come towards him. And as it jumped at him jaws open he took a quick sidestep. The dog missed him by inches. But in that the dog had lost its vantage point. He was quickly onto him and in a swift motion started strangling the dog. He laughed and laughed. He derived pleasure in seeing the dog suffocate to death. He saw it struggle. The dog was nothing but an “it” to him. His neck throbbed. it always did when he killed. He walked back into the recesses of darkness.

Age 25

It was all over the papers. Some smart criminal psychologist had pieced together the relation between 75 homicides in the last 10 years in 25 different countries. They had tried to put into effect a pattern but there was none. In that they were stumped. They did not know who the next victim was. In which country would the next corpse turn up? They had no idea. But this was the kind of challenge that the CP (what the criminal psychologist was called among his peers) had been striving for. To put into effect a moral code and show other people how callous they were and how dedicated he was. It was but a farce.
He laughed to himself perversely. But he had learnt to live with the perverseness. He vowed to track the bastard responsible down. His vow was known to all.

Somewhere…. He looked about. The way he killed became more complicated with each kill. He had to. Otherwise there was no pleasure. He was in a crowded airport. He picked his next victim with a smile. A middle aged faggot… that’s what it looked like to him. He went up to it and asked, “ do you have a light mate?” … it did not answer and ignored him. The faggot was also nothing but an “it” to him. He picked a pressure point. In a swift motion he put a pin in the cutinal marxis nerve in the neck. No one saw him do it. Not even the faggot. He stepped aside and watched him fall down. People gathered around the faggot. He stood there and saw the face of the faggot. He was smiling. He was in extreme pleasure. Others closed their eyes. They thought the faggot was having a heart attack. Three minutes of agony later the faggot finally stopped breathing. He still did not walk away. He continued to stare and smile.
And then he walked away.

The CP looked down upon the victim. He knew it was the work of the bastard he was trying to track. And yet again he had left no clues. He had killed the man with a sterilized 0.2 mm needle in a crowded airport. The CP smiled to himself. Everyone makes a mistake he thought and when this bastard made his he was going to be there to nail him. The intrigue of it all drove him insane and yet that’s what he strived on. The CP commanded the team with a flurry of instructions….


Some years later

The leech detached from the cortical space and left the body through the neck….

He looked at the mirror… he took the nearest object a shoe…. The mirror was broken…. He wailed… he cried… his anguish was known to none… all those faces … no more its…. He could not understand it…

He drove up the hill to the highest point. It was dark and yet to him it was too bright for he could see himself. He saw the city lights all round him now that he was up there at the highest precipice. The CP devised what he was suffering from. He was the killer and yet he did not know it till now… his eyes were blood shot. He had used a knife on his hands body chest…. There was dry blood moist blood fresh blood all over him and yet the anguish was much more hurtful than the physical pain. He cried out…. His vow came back to him and for that brief second he smiled… for he had caught the bastard after all… and he jumped ….

The edge of the solar system:

There was maniacal laughter in the space ship. Nobody was looking for him anymore. The ship was back to normal size. He had made his plan work. He had known all along it would work. He laughed again… and again… and again…..

The Zombie song

So I met a Zombie
in the middle of the night
Driving down highway 54
Which adds up to nine

He had just one thumb
Which was just right
For he was waving asking
For a lift to get
On his way to wherever

I was a bit drunk
So I stopped to pick him up
He got into the car
And gave me a smile
Or so I thought cause
There were no teeth

He said thanks for stopping
No one does that anymore
And so it had taken him a year of walking
And yet he was far from the place he
Wanted to go

Nobody understood him he said
Everybody was afraid of him
Some who saw him
Said he was just a figment of their imagination
And looked away

And others were not so kind
And waved a cross at him
As if he would disappear
And close their eyes in fear
But not one liked him

He was a bit gloomy for
He was the only one of his kind left
Not willing to move on
Stuck in a reality that was not his
And yet he was the one who was scared

Scared of compromise or something
Scared of a lot of things
Scared of moving on and finding
His own kind that he missed
May not be the thing that
His dreams were made of

And all such crap or so I thought
Like I said I was drunk
The details were fuzzy
But the truth was clear
I didn’t know what to say
To cheer him up

A similar situation I am in
I told him so
And smiled at him
Teeth and all

He laughed at the smile
I knew so from the sound
He said I haven't seen someone
Smile and show me their teeth
In the way you just did

He got down a few miles later
I wished him luck as he did me
And a half hour later I wondered
Did that really happen
Or was that the future…

Cat Stories

This reminded me of The Cat. Thats what I called her. She wasn't allowed inside the house and within a year of finding us she had become a part of all our lives. In my house back in Madras the layout was such that my study room was above the garage and its windows opened onto a balcony. One day when I came to my study room I found the cat sitting on the ironing table by the window which I had forgotten to close. Instinctively I scolded the cat in my loud voice and said " WHat are you doing in here. You know you are not allowed inside the house. Get out!!" and I pointed to the open window. She just looked back at me and gave me a concerned meow..I actually felt her say why the hell are you shouting. I am not going out through the window! I just calmed down. And said softly " Ok.. You know you are not allowed inside here. So follow me out." She got up at once and jumped down, Followed me through the house - two rooms later we were at the front door which I opened and she looked up at me gave me a meow and walked out with dignity.

Hatred- I hate

Sometimes I get this feeling of Anger
That is unexplained and contradictory
To my nature that is
Which is emboldened by a cigerette
Smoked in invincibilty

It is a feeling I cannot explain
Even to myself let alone others
Makes me feel cocky and cynical
And that I can conquer the world
With anger and hatred rather than
Try the mellow other

I thought this world could
not move me no more
with its stories of ever horror
I asked myself why
A story of say child abuse
By an organisation as big as the UN peacekeepers
Gave shock no more to me

I have become emmersed in this hatred
The world has come to spread
And I find people all around me
In different types of guilt trips
In an effort to overcome
And satisfy ones own pitiful existance

That’s all it is a lifelong guilt trip

People like to talk about these things
Like China Myanmar as if
They sypathise with the plight
And in that they are human
But I do not see any humanity in that

There are others who go
One step furthur and give
A portion of their earnings to
A fund set up to help people
In need and feel good about themselves

That too is nothing but a glorified guilt trip

And then there are those who admit
That they do not feel any feeling
And in that their strong and believe
In the survival of the fittest

In them either I do not find the humanity I look for

And yet I find humanity in small things
That I come across when I feel these strong emotions
That always bring me back to earth
And make me believe!
Something as simple as a one line email
From a sister I love very much.

The Possum or Upposum...

The night was dark. The trees were tall. There were a lot of trees for it was a forest. The forest seemed dense. You get the point as to what I am trying to describe. But trying to imagine the sights and sounds from the perspective of a little possum was difficult. It was face to face with its predator. It suddenly lay down and started emitting the foul odor of death. The predator came up to the possum and bit it in the neck nevertheless. And then suddenly it gave a howl and walked away confused. The possum bled. It saw a light despite the pain it was in. Its heart had stopped beating. And then it happened. Something likes what happens to the legendary phoenix. The bleeding had stopped and it was alive again. But nothing was the same. Never had he had the sentient sense of being before. He had been reincarnated for a reason and not allowed to pass on. And there he stood with this new found sentient sense.


Midtown

I walked around in circles. I did not know what to do. It had started with the disappearance of the neighborhood pets. The old Hag Meyabelle had claimed two of her oldest cats were missing. No one had paid attention. And then things started becoming serious. The Rutgers, Mallers and the Horns had lost their dogs on the same day. The county policemen did not know how to respond and said there was probably a predator on the loose. They had contacted the city officials who had no idea what these country bumpkins were talking about. There had been no immediate response.

But things had gone one step further towards the worse. Four little children had gone missing yesterday night among whom was little Parvathi. That was just the start of things. We were hit by a tornado. All communications were down as was the power. The two gas bunkers in the town had mysteriously blown to smithereens. The gas trailers did not come into town till Monday which was four days away. The storm had been a strange storm…. Some said it had been a freaky electric storm. None of the cars, trucks trailers would start anymore. This was freaking the hell out of us all.

We had gathered at the town house. The five hundred strong population that was our town. The sun was setting against the town house as I walked into it. The sun was in my eyes as I was partially blinded. I put my hands over my eyes which was when I saw it. I couldn’t believe what I had just seen. Had it been my imagination? I did not know. But something in what I saw made me move away from the crowd. The sun set.

It was dreary dark. I could not believe how much dependence we as a species had on electricity. And how scared we became when there was no power. I headed towards the smoke. It was the old hag Mayebelle. I followed her, as quietly as I could. She was walking fast and I was having a hard time following her. She did not show any cognizance of the fact that she was being followed. The town gave way to the forest. The forest to a clearing. And then she was gone. I was spooked but the thought of little Parvathi and the other kids kept me going. I walked up to the place I saw the Hag disappear. But every time I got close I kept finding myself that much further away.

I could not understand it. It was an illusion. It had to be. And then suddenly the doorway appeared in front of me. I do not know how or why. I walked in and found the kids tied up and the foul smell of the remnants of the poor pets. I quickly untied the kids and hurried out of there as fast as could. There was an explosion behind me. Or so I thought. I held little parvathi and the other kids close to me. There was nothing left there and there was no sign of the old hag. I headed back to town with the kids wondering how I was going to explain all this without sounding like a queer. I decided to lie.

Epilogue

The shield kept all people from discovering her ship. She was almost done with her mission. She looked at the small human kids and laughed. She would be amply rewarded for the finesse with which she had carried out her mission. She laughed again at the thought of the cats and dogs in the cage in deck two. She enjoyed this.

The Possum approached the ship. He was too small for the shield to detect and adapt. He was now in and found that she had left the door open in an air of pure confidence. He approached the end of his mission. There was his light. He walked towards the light. And then it was over. He died instantly. The foul stench of his possumness spread through the ship instantly. She screeched at the site of the main reactor becoming unstable and went below to deck two in a lame attempt to try and stabilize the core.

The attempt was lame all right... for a few minutes later she was blown to oblivion without the trace of as much as a molecule. The possum, heroism known to no one, was finally at peace

Emails from the past

Three years ago slightly edited...


"I got my visa today. This is what happened.

I got there at 7.50( my appointment wus at 8) and
afound a que that seemed like it would reach the
marina.I didnt know if i would make it to the end of
the raod(leave alone inside) by 8. So i asked guys in
the que what time their interview was. I got answers
ranging from 9.30 to 11.30. so basically i cut the que
and went atraight to the window( for check and
entering) with hundreds of people throwing silent
curses at me.

Anyways i wus inside now.I paid the dds( for the
american counsulate and the tts services) and stood
in line to get my doccuments checked.Now i had a
choice.Choice one wus a middle aged lady who didnt
seem to know that there was a mike and bullet proof
glass in front of her and choice two wus a cute lady
in her late twentys with priety zinta type of glasses.
obviosly ( being the shallow person that r all males)
i took choice no.2.Boy wus i tortured for that. She
took what seemed like ages to procees just two guys in
front of me.ppl who arrived after me where already
finished with the ch:1 lady and were gone fer the
interview while i wus there waiting.. waiting..
waiting.. i guess u get the picture.( moral of the
story the cliched u can never find a girl with beauty
as well as brains-- haha)

now i wus inside and wus directly sent to a que for
the interview. i had just one person before me.

his interview went as

Foriener: what r u gonna do in the us

this guy: i going to come back to india use the
techniques i learnt and work for the greater good of
not only the indian economy but also the greater good
of mankind as well.

the ferengi looks at him then says that wus not the
question i asked.
....... iam sorry to say that i am rejecting ur visa!

(myself : oh my god this must be the guy who is there
to reject all visas so that they have a normally
distributed rejection rate... i am doomed ... oh my
god...

the words
"please come forward" broke my reverie.

ferengi : why this university
self: i have been lokin at the resaerch blah blah
blah......
ferengi: how are u gonna pay fer it
self: i am taking an education loan and my dad is also
helpin out
ferengi: abruptly what r u gonna do afterwards
self( thinking: probabaly take a toilet break no he
must mean after the course) and before i think it out
i find myself saying "i am going to (dont say work u
goddamn idiot ur visa will surely get rejected )
"WORK" as the prosepects blah blah...
ferengi: u still havent said where ( looks at me
expectently probably thinking say the magic word " usa
" come on give me the pleasure let me reject ur visa
come on come on ...)

self: obviosly i am coming back to india because blah
blah blah ....

ferengi : there is no visa issuance fee for students
thank you ( and smiles)


and that is me story. hope havent wasted two minute s
of yer time."

The rise of Karikula

Authors note-- I did not think I would ever write sequels to my stories cause I felt that it was just too easy to come up with a story once you have established characters.But with this it is a prequel..:D and I tried to be different for my own satisfation. This is a prequel to the story

The odyssey of Karikula



The sun was right above my head. I was on my way to the legendary kingdom of Hampi. I needed some rest. The rest houses that the king had built all along the main road at intervals had been impressive. But I had decided to stray on my path to go through the countryside more. I came upon a village which was perfect for me. But for the time of day there seemed to be no activity. I went up to the first house I came upon and said,” Amma—Bhavathi Bikshan Dehi”. The lady of the house soon came out with food and water for me,” Please call out if you need anything more”. I got my much needed nourishment. As I got ready to leave I called out and she came back to the door. I said,” Amma- May the lord’s blessings be with you for helping this Brahmin…” I continued, “ I had one question before I leave—why is the town so quiet at this time of day?” Her face saddened. She said,” This has never happened in this village before. There has been a murder and the town panchayat has been called. They have been at it for the last two days without coming to a verdict…” I thanked her once again and got back onto my feet.

As I came upon the town square the whole town seemed to have gathered there. They all sat in silence as a few wizened old men headed the meeting. They too were sitting in silence looking up at each other from time to time. I decided to speak,” Oh wizened old men of the panchayat. May I offer my services to thee in solving your predicament” They looked up and one of them who seemed to be the head spoke,” Stranger, We appreciate your offer. But this is not something that we wish to involve somebody from outside our community to solve. Please be on your way and do not make what is already a difficult situation for us” I said,” I have travelled far and wide my fellow denizens. I am confident of solving your problem. It is only the problem that intrigues and I can assure you once I am on my way no one will ever hear the disgrace that this situation might bring on this village. I beg your forgiveness if I am being a little impudent”

After a little discussion the panchayat heads rose and we walked to the mango grove owned by Soma. They had accepted my offered services. As we walked they told me the strange story of Soma. Soma and his son Karikula had arrived in this village about 10 years ago. Soma had acquired the skill of cultivating the juiciest mangoes and had convinced Raja the moneylender to lend them some money and everything else had been history. Soma since then had become famous in the whole region for his mangoes and had become affluent. He and his son were pious Brahmins and he had never forgotten to pay his dues to society. He had always been very charitable and a model citizen.
About two weeks ago in the night of the ammavasai there Raja had been to Soma’s house and the servants had heard a huge argument and Raja had been heard giving death threats to Soma as he left the house. And then the next day Soma had been found dead in the mango grove- A dagger down his stomach. As we got to the mango grove we reached the place where Soma had been found. I looked closely around and smiled to myself. I said,” I have got what we wanted. What I do not have is a motive. Sirs I would request a private audience with Raja. But before that I have a strange request. I apologize in advance and say I do not wish any disrespect. I would like to see Soma’s body ”


There were murmurs all round. And then they lead me to the other end of the mango grove to a what seemed to be a shack. An old lady was sitting outside. She cackled at me as I went past her. I put my angavastram over my nose and entered.


Raja was sitting in front of me. His body language suggested he was extremely frightened. I looked at him and said viciously,” How did you find out?” He stuttered” find out what?”. I said,” Stop playing games Raja. You were blackmailing Soma. You knew he was not a Brahmin” He looked stunned. He stuttered,” Hhh HH How could you possibly know. You are no stranger…. You … You must know then … I did not kill him… I did not…” He was howling now. I looked at him and said,” I know you did not kill him. I have you here to answer one question that would solve my puzzle. When you fought Soma that evening did you see Karikula in the house.” He looked at me strangely and said with a little more composure, “ No he wasn’t. In fact Soma shouted at the servants to go find him” I looked at him and took on a vicious tone,” That’s all I needed to know. Now if you ever let slip of this fact to disgrace Soma’s name I will personally make sure you are disgraced as well. And all the money you got from Soma through your blackmail you are going to donate to the great Tanjavur Brihadeeswarar Temple. Is that understood” He just nodded his head and held it down in shame.


I walked out and asked the panchayat head if I could talk next to Karikula next in private. The murmurs started again. But my request was met with. I took Karikula into the room and sat him down and said,” Kutti Karikula – how are you feeling? I have something for you “ I took out a burphy piece. He did not smile. He did not even look at me. So I continued,” Karikula I do not have words to console you. I have not been with children ever and it has been a long time since I had been a child. So I am going to tell you some facts. With you I am going to be honest and you have got to trust me in that what is said in this room stays in this room. “ I tried to muster as much as a fatherly smile at him. All I got from him was a look. At least his head was up now. I said,” Karikula I know your father was not a Brahmin. You might be suspicious as to how I found out. But it is I assure you purely due to the powers of observation. I looked at your dead father’s body. And his poonal was on right to left rather than left to right. “ Karikula started crying. I continued,” Do not cry Karikula. I am not going to tell anybody of this. I also know something else. I know you were in the mango yard that night. You are the only one who can tell me what happened” Karikula looked up and said,” h…how did ou know..”..I said.” Karikula I am a person who takes pride at his observation skills. I knew of your presence through the process of deduction and observation of the crime scene. Now young son please tell me what actually happened” Karikula started crying again and then said,” Appa Appa died because of me….. I was up in the tree and had fallen asleep. Appa saw me and shouted in anger. I got up in a fright and fell. He jumped to catch me. But in his haste the knife in his belt went right through his stomach and and…” I took him into my arms and said,” Karikula do not blame your self. You need to know the truth. Although it was just an accident it had been caused by something that had happened earlier. You father had gotten into an argument and then in his haste and anger he had worn his knife in haste and that’s what caused the actual event. I could tell that from the entry wound that was on his flesh…” I just held Karikula.

I was facing the panchayat. I had told them only the story of the accident. I had also told them of my wish to take on Karikula as my student to mentor. They had accepted. I picked up karikula and put him on my shoulders and wondered about Soma and his brave step in trying to live a lie for a better life for his son. I wondered why did he have to lie… when he was in fact the best at his trade but for social strata. I looked up at Karikula on my shoulder and hoped for a happier future as we walked out of the village…..

Tagged

The theory of Sankyosis or being able to guide ones thoughts through a maze any kind of maze, the maze being defined by the user was perfected by Dr. Gaber Wallpee in the year 2277. The scientific community had been at loggerheads of generations debating the true theory behind the work for Dr.Gaber had been using a revolutionary new science to prove his theory- Psychokinetics. I had been a research assistant for years under Dr.Gaber and though I had never been able to grasp his amendment to the main postulate, my background being in pure Psycholectia I had been, more importantly, able to grasp the signs he used to predict random events very accurately.

Why am I telling you all this. This might be close to the story of the chicken or the egg. Being involved in highly secret government research had its boons and its banes. And right now I was in a tight situation. I had been caught in a time warp on route to Alpha 1 and was now stuck in the 21st century. I had seen my ship my tools and everything I knew evaporate around me as I went back to a time they did not exist but I could not understand why I continued to exist. If I ever get back that would be one paradox the scientific community would grab at to grapple about. I laughed. I had landed in the middle of a state known as Kansas in what was then the United States of America. I found this funny for I saw myself as Dorothy. To someone else this might have been interpreted as a freaky coincidence. But I knew better. I could explain that now but that would spoil the aura of what I am about tell wouldn’t it.

Having found appropriate attire I started looking around for a tool to help guide me through this primitive culture. Most time travel stories and theories had been based of the fact that the person not being in his own time and having managed to travel to the past was out of place then and there and hence in doing so would alter history drastically. But they never took the theory of Psychokinetics into consideration. Part of which can be explained as- the various time periods move at the same rate and very much interconnected so much to say that changing an event in the future was much more drastic as it changed the past drastically thus affecting a larger populous.

I found what I had been looking for. I grabbed it and came out of the farm house as quietly as I could. This would be my guiding tool to get me back to my own future. It took me some time to figure out the primitive device but I had it figured soon. I switched it on and applied the science of random quantification to it- I pressed the shuffle button and read—

Tears – Dream Theatre

I looked around and new the direction I needed to take. There was the billboard that said- Turn your tears to laughter. Make your dreams come true at the Atery. Come and …. I started walking. The night was still young. I must have walked about an hour. It was the fourth intersection I had come across. As I walked past it a young lady came up to me and asked me for a cigarette light. I shuffled-

Standing in motion- Yanni

I looked up at her and said “I do not smoke”. She just smiled back at me and walked away. I knew I had to wait. But what I could not predict was for how long. It must have been an hour that I stood in the same spot when the young lady came back and asked me,” Are you all right? You been standing right here since the …” She looked at me strangely. I pressed shuffle and said-

Snowballed –AC/DC (For those about to rock)

She looked at me and said,” Excuse me ..?? “ and then turned and started walking in a huff. I ran up behind her and lied,” I am sorry—I thought you asked what I was listening to. I think you misconstrued me. It was just a coincidence“ I smiled sweetly at her. I say I lied cause I do not believe in coincidences but that is a different issue for a different day.
She looked at me and said,” You have been given the benefit of the doubt… what were you doing standing there?” I said,” Waiting for you to come back” She laughed,” You are strange….you don’t look like you are from here. Where are you from?” I shuffled…

EKWG- Unknown artist


It took me a few seconds to interpret and then I said,” I am from the year 2284. I was caught in a time warp and now am stuck here trying to find my way back…” She started laughing loudly.I said,” I am Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig by the way” she said—“ I am Dorothy..” I shuffled

Crossfire- Scorpions

I said,” Would it be too impudent of me to ask you to dinner at the Crossfire?” She simply said,” When?”I said as soon as I locate where the restaurant Is at. She laughed,” I know where it’s at! Come on” A few blocks of walking later we came to the Crossfire—it was a classy restaurant with live jazz music. As we entered I shuffled…

Hell cat- Scorpions

I knew we had to enter cause that was the insignia that the Cross fire had adopted-- the Grumman F6F Hellcat fighter aircraft. We got ourselves a table. We sat down and the waiter came up to us and said,” Monsieur, lady… what can I get you?” I shuffled…

Mona Lisa—Matrix reloaded

I looked around. It was then I saw him. He had been presumed to be dead when he disappeared about four years ago in 2280 that is. I smiled. I ordered wine and excused myself. I walked up to him and said,” Hello Dr.Wallpee… its nice to see you again” He looked up at me and smiled,” You have used the theory well my student to find me… but what brought you here in the first place?” I brought him up to date (which date though I am still confused) and my situation. I needed to find a way back to my future. He looked at me and laughed,” Its good to see you again. Though the probability of meeting anyone from my past ….(he laughed—“that always cracks me up when I say that” )… what was I saying yes the probability was quite equiangular but I did not expect too… “ He looked at me expectantly. I shuffled

Come as you are- Nirvana (Nevermind)

I looked around confused. I had finally been stumped. And then it struck me. This one was not for me. I showed the track to him. He said,” There is a rock station across town called “Nevermind”. I hypothesize that you will find a cosmic point to make your journey back. Do not forget… you would have to go as you came. Do not take back anything – not even your acquired clothes” I gave him a hug.
As I walked back towards Dorothy I shuffled..

Khamoshiyan Muskurane lagi – One two ka four (AR Rahaman)

I knew I needed help. I said,” Dorothy I need some help. I need to get to the Nevermind radio station across town.” A few minutes later we got into her car. Her number plates read- KML 124. We were soon at the Nevermind radio station. Now that we were here I shuffled-

Vennilave – AR rahaman (Minnisare Knnavu)

I looked up. It was about to rain. There was lightning all about that made the moon look silver in color to the naked eye. The radio station had a huge radio tower on the roof of the building as was a lightning conductor. I needed to get to the roof. She looked at me and said ,” I have a key—I am one of the producers …” I smiled.
Once on the roof of the building I shuffled-

The outlaw torn- Metallica

I had to make a decision. I turned to her and said, “What I told you earlier—it was true. I think we are meant to be together. But the fabric of space and time will be broken if we go back to my present. The only way is to go back to the past… the Psychokinetics will make the decision as to which time period. But you have to make a decision if you want to come..” I broke the lightning conductor and walked up to the radio toewer and placed a hand on it. She looked at me as if I was crazy. I did not know why she had come so far in trusting a stranger….

The year—1895
I started writing The Wizard of OZ. We had changed our names to Frank Baum and Maud. You can find out what happened next—Its history. I told you-- you wouldn’t believe if I had told you earlier….

Authors note--

This is a result of being tagged by Mac-san. I found it more interesting to do it this way..:)... And I kept to the rules generally cause everytime I needed a twist or to take the story forward-- I shuffled and was honest with the song that came up to direct the story...

Self pity...

Today I saw a piece of white plastic
Stuck on a tree without leaves
As I looked up at it I could see the sky
The tree though short I could not set free
The white piece of plastic that was stuck to
But a branch on that tree

I saw it as a sign for how my life stands
for in that plastic as alien to the tree
without leaves I see my self
on the threshold of all my dreams
but on hold without being set free

stuck on the topmost branch
just but a yard away from flying high
to achieve the great and pursue happiness
but being held back for reason known not
the futility of it all just hit me
as a harsh cold breeze blew into my face

I fear feeling pity for myself
In world not short on self pity
That I cannot blame any one person
Or thing for that matter
And be done with it so to say
On being held back without
Being allowed to fly in the sky so high

But I am stuck on that bracnh for now
With no apparent help but I dare hope
That someday soon things will be clear
As to why I have to feel this fear
And how should I face it for
Now I am lost but not the hope

Prayers are strong as is goodwill
That is one thing I am not short or shy of
At the moment as things stand
They are the two weapons that I embrace
In the fight so to say to set free
That piece of plastic white as can be
Into the high skies and beam like a light
In the dark blue skies….

The muddy puddle called water...

Everything seemed to be really happy. Even a muddy puddle of water looked crystal clear to me. I looked up smiling I had booked the room in the hotel for the next three days. And then suddenly I was standing in drain pipe way below earth level. That was when I saw it. The pink bunny came out of the door. It had a big key in its back. A machine gun appeared from nowhere and it started firing menacingly. I thought it was firing at me but that was not the case. I was but an observer. What was it firing at? Come on… do I have to stop it?

I got up… perspiration all over me. It had to be an allegory for something. And why was I now sure that JK Rowling was a pseudonym and a well hidden truth about my aunt? It all made no sense. My aunt came into the room and said,” Are you all right? I heard you screaming….” She looked terrified. I started blabbering,” It’s got to have some meaning—you are JK Rowling?” … And then I started remembering things.
I had witnessed the murder hadn’t I…? I started feeling sick all over. The guy had popped out of nowhere and I had not been able to save the kid. He had been shot right in front of me and I had watched helpless. It did not make sense still to me. My aunt brought me some water and I gulped it down. I got up and walked around the house, quick paced to try and find meaning in my actions. I looked at my aunt and said,” But I have a room booked for three days…” And then it struck me… I could not remember the actual date when I had booked the room. And I turned to my aunt and said,” They must still be charging for the room. I can’t even remember when I booked the room. This means I will soon be bankrupt.” She looked at me bewildered. Why was she wearing a bonnet inside the house? Of course it was about to rain was it not!

I got up, “What the hell was that?” I need some water. I walked to the kitchen sink and got meself a glass of cold water. I splashed my face with the water. I was awake. It was snowing heavily outside. But in here I was safe in my boxers. Apparently there was nothing to fear. I laughed out loud like a maniac. That’s what my psyche made me comfortable with when I was scared. One of the many perks of being alone in an apartment in the city. No one took notice. I went back to sleep.

It was lunch time the next day and a time I used to ponder on the events that afflict humanity. I had simple answers and solutions to all of life’s problems. But not having a psychology degree…. Nobody was willing to listen to me. My cell phone rang. I contemplated being in contact with another human voice in an hour that I wished not to be disturbed. But then it was probably someone in need for help… a damsel in distress maybe… I picked up… the voice on the other end said,” Sir, your credit card finally bounced.. So we are cancelling your booked room. Please stop by the Ritz and settle previous balances” and the line went dead. Oh my god. Was I dreaming again? This seemed vaguely familiar. I pinched meself. I was certainly awake based on the theory that pinching oneself in a dream would wake them up. Assuming that was true I started driving to the Ritz. I somehow had the feeling I would be able to settle this and be back at work by the end of the hour.

I found the Ritz thanx to my trusty gladiatorial friend- the monsieur GPS. The manager soon greeted me. He said,” Sir your things are intact as we discussed…” and he winked. I said surprised,” do you know me?... ” He smiled again. He gave me the key to a room I presumed and disappeared on a pretense of being extremely busy. I walked up the stairs and open the room with the number 1818. I walked into the room and found a pair of boots by the doorway that was my size. As I walked past them I saw a dart gun sticking out of it. I curiously picked it up. I looked back up. And there it was. A puppet pink bunny with a big key on its back. I jolted... and then picked it up. I turned the key and the rug under me gave away and I slid down onto a garbage chute and landed into a pile of garbage. I picked myself up and almost puked. The smell of garbage was fine… I was used to that… but the sick smell of a freshener used to get rid of the smell in it got to me. I started walking calling out,” Can someone hear me… I seemed to have slipped and fallen down a hole”… just like Alice…. Yah I was comparing meself to a little girl…. I felt like one in this dark hell.

And then I saw a girl held in a chair and a child by her… guarding? I was not sure. But as I drew closer I knew what I had to do. I pulled out the dart gun and aimed at the child. I ran up to the girl and freed her.

Epilogue

“I do not know how I broke through the toughest security and released her…” I shouted for the umpteenth time. There were four secret service agents sitting across me. I had killed an agent in the process. I could not believe that. Somehow she had altered perception of reality for me. I could not explain. The agents looked at each other and one said,” We are going to have him drugged..” I cried,” No.. Please no… It was not my fault. ,,,,,,,, wake up please wake up… please wake up….” But this was reality???

Bday Post...

To sum up 25 years of blissful Ignorance:

Greed:
On the eve of a first Bday celebration at school a really young boy looks at a box full of chocolates and decides to tell mummy dearest,” Amma no one knows it’s my Bday tomorrow—I will just wear normal clothes- no need to celebrate and all ok??”

Smart:
On the way to Tirupathi sometime in the 90s—a govt vehicle overtakes our bus on the inside on a hairpin bend almost toppling everyone in it including a to be young perverted but right now innocent brain into oblivion. The bus stops sometime later a tea station where the car in question is spotted. Everyone except Appa rushes to the driver of the govt vehicle screaming. The govt driver says.” This govt vehicle – we can do anything we want...” and laughs wickedly. Even though young observations are made as to why a generally impatient dad when mummy is involved is so calm and collected and even smiles at the then young impressionable mind. As the bus rolls out – everybody still frustrated with the govt driver in question- one is surprised as everybody starts laughing out loud- the young impressionable mind looks up to dad to see him holding something up- the keys to the govt car in question!!
The Bihari brought up tam bram dad had flicked the keys from the car as others had chosen to confront the driver!

Sentiment:
Big bro having left the house – finally one comes to believe that the title of undisputed king will no longer be questioned—so the king decides to take the brand new indica out for a spin. As he picks up his friend the king reverses the car without as much as looking behind smiling in ignorant confidence—Bang! He backs straight into a bamboo stock albeit moronically placed in the middle of the road… though till today it is highly questionable as to whom the moron can be directed at… as the king drives back he has a hundred things running through his mind- “how can I make this a convincing lie??? ---that moronic auto driver banged the back of the car and ran away!! It’s got to work” The story is repeated over and over so that the king could almost convince himself that it was true…
Enter Dad after a stressful day... the king goes up to him nervously… for some reason he finds himself saying...” appa I did something totally stupid—I backed the car into a bamboo... totally my fault appa..”Appa stares at the king and says sternly” who the hell allowed you to take the car!...”
Three more hours of silence later-- Appa” I am glad you had the courage to tell the truth… I must have done something right with you…”
Though Dad has fergotten over the years what transpired that day—in the kings mind those words at the end meant a lot more than anything else ever had…

Snubbed:
PTA meeting 5th grade- Amma to teacher,” I don’t know what I am going to do with him.. he watches TV all day” Teacher,” Oh really? That’s good- he is one of the brightest students in the class—obviously that’s working- encourage it more”… well over the years obviously what I heard the teacher say has been probably changed.. but truthfully in essence it meant that and Amma laughed with me on the way back as we got into the cycle rickshaw…

Failure:
A medium sized awkward kid of something like ten sits at his bench crying.. as everybody inquires he cries,” I have never failed an exam before in my life and I think I failed physics” and continues crying.. soon the physics teacher comes up and pulls him to his room corrects the paper in front of him and says “Arre why are you crying see you have passed you are getting 34 on 50”.. he smiles gets back to class and then starts thinking again” what just 34 everybody is going to get above 40 .. my rank is going to go down…..

Happiness:

UKG- As I get to the gate my auto driver is not there and the chowkidaar wouldn’t allow me out till he came. I decided to escape through the iron railings as he looks the other way and decide to walk 5 km back home. As I do so it starts to rain. I sing and dance in the rain and continue walking. I see our neighbor and wave at him and he in his own world just waves back at me ( Two older people who brought this kid up are still perplexed as to why that uncle did not catch and pull one with the help of a ear lobe) about an hour and a half later one reaches the street of home sweet home to find a mom standing at the head… one is supposed to have giggled to her,” ummmmm I escaped….”

Doctors are Perplexed:

At age three one would not eat unless on top of the bonnet of the ambassador. As amma goes to bring more food- one slides down onto a thick wall edge – 4 stitches on the forehead…
4 weeks later… the day the stitches are to be removed—one is sitting on a high ledge 3 feet above the ground level--- an hour later the doctor looks at the bleeding forehead and says after a while perplexed…” Do I remove the stitches from this side and put them onto the other side of his forehead???”
The incidents with the fore head being split open happened a couple more time btw- explains a lot doesn’t it??


That’s some of which that defined 25 to me today—I feel old and insignificant….

Ghandhigiri??

Asimov as a writer influenced my thinking at a poignant age towards the decadence of a society at the height of its progress. He taught of signs which definitely pointed towards decadence when a majority of the society where blissfully ignorant of such decadence and unwilling to change which is a sure sign of a peak of advancement as it is of a fall imminent. The scary thing is that all these signs can be seen with the Indian society that has survived generations past, of invasions and changes galore. Who would have thought that now we are looking to divide even past cast creed and religion and the anti social elements along with a scary mob culture that has developed can take control and divide as Marathi’s being different from North Indians? There have of course been similar movements in Tamil nadu since before I was born and developed in Bangalore in the past few years as well.

Three movies that I have watched in the recent past brought cohesion to my thought process on the nature of a revolution being- Charlie Wilson’s War, The Kite runner and Persepolis. They have a similar theme if you look at them as a whole. The first two talked of decadence in the Afghanistan region and the third extremely creatively of the same in Iran. They start off with the countries being on the brink of revolution where in the intelligentsia of the society meet consistently in a euphony that the revolution would bring the much needed change from a tyranny that was tying down the society. But in the wake of a bloody revolution the elements that come to power are the most tyrannical- the people as such who are willing to take blood rather than give for the revolution. And those are the elements that come to power!

That put in with some western capitalistic gain driven policies have driven the two countries into the so called dark ages. There are such stark similarities in the decadence that it pretty much scares me. The stark banality of thought process being that the state decides what women should wear, how they should behave in public and denying basic modern human rights such as education and a free thought flow process which scares the hell out of these tyrannical elements because of a basic fear of progress in the name of a vile “western” influence. These elements are not willing to adapt to a changing modern thought process on various issues that affect the society and are more involved in short term gains and a self pity rather than being a visionary for their fellow human beings.

All of this led me to see why Gandhi was such a visionary in his own time! Being born neither during the wake of pre or post independence but something like 40 years after I was exposed to two imposingly opposite thought processes on Gandhi- One being unrelenting hatred towards his policies that supposedly pushed back independence by twenty years and put the Nehru family at the forefront of policy making and the other that reveres his patience for the peaceful way always. But think about it. Would we have rather wanted a bloody revolution say in the 1920’s with the people who were willing to spill blood to be the very founders of the country? In that alone I could see what Gandhi was thinking some 50 years after independence. He was not thinking of just his generation but for generations’ way past his lifetime. He persisted with his main weapon of “Ghandhigiri” through times rough and then rougher and made sure that the anti social elements do not form the foundation of the society he envisioned. In this I am not trying to judge Bhagat Singh or Subhash Chandra Bose or their perseverance for independence. They were great men no doubt who were willing to give their lives as well for the cause. But not every Indian who followed their ideals would have been like them i.e, more willing to give their blood rather than spill blood with an emphasis on more.

Gandhi’s policies were patience driven with an emphasis on giving time for things to work out rather than be brash and look to gain on the short term. It was amazing the way he was able to mobilize and unite a country so different on so many levels and yet stick to his ideals. I was talking to a friend S along those lines and he pointed out some very poignant thoughts. Gandhi, he said, did not proclaim to be a saint who was trying to be a politician but a politician who was trying to be a saint!

It is sad that a country that was founded on such ideals now does not see much light in that. It absolutely saddens me the current state of affairs. In the last few weeks I have heard of a mob that doesn’t mind molesting women on weak pretenses, a mob motivated to violence against fellow Indians in the name of dominant regionalism, and the Tamil Nadu legislature discussing what dresses film actresses should wear! I ask a banal question in- is this what national policy makers be worried about? And how different are these thoughts from the radical thoughts that dominate the Taliban in Afghanistan or that in Iran? They are no different…

Chandramouli --On the run the continuing adventures:

*inspired to complete the chandramouli trilogy thanks to this bata thatha series that I came across recently...


Chandramouli had decided after his tryst with phorin females that the way to go was arranged marriage So on a trip back home he decided to go the safe way as in arranged dating- the new concept that had evolved in his absence from the country for the last 4 years in his persuit for scientific happiness. Gone were the days were the boy with his parents visited to see the girl. He had seen this happen to his younger uncle and aunts when he was supposedly the cute kid who played cupid. The girl would come into the room full of relatives apparently decked up carrying a tray of tea biscuits and some namkeens and she would be looking down never to face anybody and as she passed the boy one of the relatives had to say, “we oldies should give these youngsters some time alone to decide” and then everybody for apparently no reason would burst out laughing. And as the girl and boy went to the terrace to decide life love and other things the mother would send him to be the “cute cupid” who in actuality prevented any apparent obscenity from happening.

Chandramouli sighed at how easy things had been then. Now the girl wanted to date him to find out how he was and what level was his intellectuality at. Weather he had an opinion on things like global warming ? Very important question. Everybody had their take on global warming these days. Great scientists like – Aishwarya rai, Amith ji and many more such revered scientists. Well at least he was really excited for the first time during his “India trip”. This trip hadn’t been what he had expected it to be. He had expected to be treated like a superstar as he was “phorin return” after all. But nobody had taken notice. Everybody had a son, daughter, uncle or aunt who had been abroad. Rather than be even treated with respect some had gone the other way in accusing him of being unpatriotic in ditching India for the “golden life” to a different country and not staying in India being patriotic and oh of course having opinions on global warming. How could he tell them that there was not one institute that researched in the field of nano paint fabrication or that the governments total budget towards the R and D of scientific technology added up to a gross sum of zero. That the education ministry was more concerned with the number of seats in the iim s rather than be worried about providing primary education to every child? But had he asked these questions he knew the response he would get- “You have no right to be asking “us” these questions u traitor. You should not be talking bad about India. We never do that – we are patriotic” And to top it all most of the girls who were available for arranged dating were scared to go out with him in case a mob decided to molest im-moralistic NRIs.

Finally his mother’s perseverance had paid and a nice Indian sounding named girl – Ramya was his date. His mother had given him strict instructions-
1) Do not try to kiss her on the cheek to say hello – u r not in amrika u know
2) Do not hug her to say good bye
3) Always stay 4 feet away from her
4) Make sure she is wearing a bindi otherwise I am not sure I would be ok with you marrying her
5) And make sure she has earings
6) It’s ok if she is not wearing a nose ring- after all it is the age of women’s lib

He had just nodded his head as he had always done in front of his mom. And now he was waiting at the bus stop for Ramya. He had been advised not to pick her up from home cause it was likely that he would be invited in thus raising the hope of the girl’s parents and this was certainly a no-no. He needed to take their feelings into consideration didn’t he now. He had been waiting fifteen minutes and then he saw a girl on the road divider 18 feet away. She was trying to cross the road but seemed not to know which side she wanted to be on. She would turn one way and then decide that the other way was the way to go. He was piqued by her behavior. Finally she decided to cross the road towards his side. She was wearing salwar kameez , had a bindi and ear rings but no nose ring. And she came upto him and broke his reverie- “Chandramoli..??” and he found himself saying “ yes??” R“ Hi I am Ramya” Now Chandramouli had watched Sivaji and had leant from the thalaver of philosophy how an NRI should behave in india and keeping upto that he found himself saying, “Coool”

They walked to a restaurant which was but 5 feet away. Chandramouli had made sure that the tables in the place measured to be more than 4 feet in width. All was well till now. He smiled when he thought of his friend back in the states. His friend was “liking” a girl in his workplace. But each time he had built up the courage to go ask her out something had befallen the girl- she had ordered lunch, had a doctor’s appointment, had her boss in her cabin and then finally when she had been free she told him that she was going to Washington over the weekend to be with her “new” boy friend. He had cursed himself at his luck but Chandramouli had chuckled at all of this. He was above him for he knew the cause. It was an ardha shastra called the Mothers Ashirvaadam that had protected the son from doing such profanely obscure things.

They talked over lunch. He had made a very good impression on Ramya. Having watched lage raho munnabhai he knew how to impress her as well. He made sure he did not call the waiter as “ chhh chhhhchchchh idhar aa”. That one thing might have as well decided things in his favour. They talked for quite a while and then came the question that would probably twist things in his favor,” what do you think of global warming?”. He was prepared- he said,” I totally agree with Amith ji on that- the devastation that green house gasses are causing mother India is abominal. In fact I cycled all the way here and made sure the restaurant was in walking distance for you as well. So that the only fuel we burnt today was perspiration” She was certainly swayed. He smiled inwardly.

She said to him,” you know I have a confession to make. When I was crossing the road I had second thoughts about meeting you. I thought you would be like all those NRIS like that guy from the movie “Pardes”- Apurva Agnihotri I think and be without any Indian culture and values. But I am so glad to have met you. To be precise the things that sawyed me are that you have an opinion on global warming and you did not order mineral water like Bisleri like all those other NRI freaks” Chandramouli did not have the heart to tell her that he had not touched the water and had not trusted bisleri since the scandal that had showcased that they were using ditch water as a source.
Chandramouli was happy. He thought he had found bliss in it all and as he walked Ramya home she suddenly looked at him extremely cross and said,” Of all the nerve! Just when I thought you werent like all those NRIs you most certainly are you pig how dare you!” Chandramouli was flabbergasted. He did not know what he had done wrong. And then the application of the deep mathematical theory of gamst probability he realized he was but “3 feet” from Ramya.

She walked away in a huff as Chandramouli stood in her wake….

AUTHORS NOTE:

How cool is this I get to do an authors note..:D this story wudnt be possible without a certain chain of events- 1 - A's idea for she was great resource..:) and S's adventures- he helps me out a lot of the times and I would sincerley like to thank the shiv sena for enforcing law and order in india and inspire mobs everywhere to preserve us against western domination... and of course the usual stuff- I do not ascribe to what I write and all..

The Chandramouli stories:

2) Chandramouli - The redux stories

1) Theoretically I knew who the killer was.....

Kung fu Jack ass vs the roach from Outer Space

*when the universe conspires against me- I try and conspire against the universe!

The roaches had escaped into outerspace
Having given up on human kind
And developed an advanced race
On the planet beta K

Having lived out a million genrations
In the time we grew but one day
They were now much more advanced
And their leader named Kniving K
Soon had plans of world domination

She headed the first fleet in a wave
Soon to follow in her depths
And stood at the shores of earth
One fine day which by the way
Was just two days since yesterday

But little did kniVing K expect
That her plans were to be countered
By the one savior humankind did not know of
Who else but the inferior hero
Kung fu Jackass was his name

He had hee haawed all his life
In the back yard of a mortal scientist
And but two days earlier had swallowed
The solution the scientist had left
Unattented in the barnyard
Thinking it to be ass lotion
But in actuality that was
The elixir of an inferior hero

“Hee haw” he brayed having
Flown out to meet the roach invasion
“Who is thy leader” ,he asked
I challenge thee to battle of unwits

K looked at him and laughed
“You dare tread my path
What nonsense do you talk
Unwits you say to the wittiest of all!”

“Kungfu Jackass is my name
Dumbness is my game
Beat me at my own dumbness
And earth will be your game
For if you are able to beat me
Oh kind mistress
George bush will be easy pray!”

And so saying started the battle of unwits they say
A legend was surely created that day
At the shores of earth they still stood
Kniving K having accepted the battle of Unwits
With Kung fu Jackass facing her
Without any fear they say

Many a dumb question was asked
Some of which were
“ if Kniving K is wearing pepe Jeans then who’s
Jean is Pepe wearing?”
“if an ant wears invisible underpants then how will the
Elephant talk to a lion”
“ Will George Bush decide to invade Sweedan
Because they made fun of his underpants”

The battle of unwits was at a standstill
And that was when Kung Fu Jackass
Showed his A game
He looked at Kniving K and asked
“if the answer to all questions of love is 41
And the question to 41 is 22
That but prooves the theorem of life which equates to
If you invade the planet earth
Then you will be married to Kung fu Jackass!”

The roach cried out “you have been defeated!
You did not ask a dumb question in that
You just prooved the answer to life that human kind
Has been looking for their whole measly lives
But you are smart Kung fu Jackass!
For you know now I cannot invade earth
For else I would become Mrs Jackass “


And as the roaches retreated to Beta K
Kung fu Jackass Hee haawed all day
And that is how he saved
All our lame asses that day!



(Jackass pronounced as Chakaaasss with the waving of arms)

This is fourth in the series of roach songs btw:

3)Another Cockroach Song
2)The roach strikes again
1)The Cockroach Song

o mi genoito...

It had been exactly seven days since I had crash landed on a planet in sector alpha1. I was desperately low on supplies, what little I had been able to salvage before my ship had been completely destroyed. So it was just what little was left and my robot companion Gnosi 124.2. I just called it Gnosi. I had waited in vain for someone to come rescue me. I had Gnosi send out a distress signal before the planets gravity had sucked us in. And here we were- man, robot and a little bit in what seemed to be the middle of a desert.

14 days or so

I could not believe I had not been rescued yet. How could this be I asked myself? Surely it was just around the corner-- my rescue that is. I had run out of all supplies of nutrition. I at least had an endless supply to water thanks to Gnosi who was able to harvest moisture. Without it I would surely be dead by now. But then that was its function – keeping me alive. I couldn’t believe the helplessness that I was feeling. Twenty seven thousand years of evolution had yielded in nothing but a simpleton as far as knowledge of science went. I did not know the principles of radio wave transmissions…. Heck given umpteen resources I was sure I could not make much out of that. I was like an ancient baboon in a nudist bar.

20 days or so- conversations with Gnosi

“Gnosi are you capable of intelligent conversations?” I asked. “ That depends on what you might observe as the definition of intelligence Daskalos San” it replied. I could not believe it! All this while I had thought him to be a junk programmed to serve me. I looked at him ( I had just decided to elevate it to a him ) and asked curiously, “ why have you never spoken so to me before?”. “Daskalos San you never asked before for me to carry out what you call coherent conversation”. My curiosity was now piquing me,” Gnosi, Do you know where we are? Are you capable of radio transmission? “ Gnosi replied,” Daskalos San we are on the planet known to the supreme race of the beta quadrant as Meno Makria Kronos in the sector alpha 1 and No” I continued,” Gnosi I have been devoid of conversation of any kind for the past 20 odd days. I apologize for taking you to a metal heap retard. I have another question for you(I paused).. are you allowed to speculate?” Gnosi said “ Yes… “( a long pause) “to be or not to be that is the question is it not”

He had just done what I had asked him to do.

I thought to myself when I had taken the job of flying the research vessel --- Phoenix 2 … I would now make enough to live the rest of life in luxury. I was a pilot not a rocket scientist. My comprehension of any electronic principle was minimal. I had in fact been sent to flight school because I had failed fourth grade. I was dubbed by any standard of society to be a dunce who had a flair for picking up languages very quickly. I was starting to figure Gnosi bit by bit. I looked at him and said,” Gnosi , do you think we should venture out to cross this desert to find food?” Gnosi ,” ………………………..(pause)…….I think that would be the best solution Daskalos San. I studied the topography as we were being pulled down for this very quest. We should head north. That would mean 3 days travel to a proper source of nutrition.


35 days or so

“ Gnosi we have been wandering these vast grasslands for a week now…” I had grown thin. I had... it seemed over estimated Gnosi after grossly underestimating him. In saying a proper source of nutrition he had assumed the carbohydrates from the grass would be enough to sustain my life. He had not known my poor underdeveloped digestive system would not allow that! As we had reached the grasslands I had at once seen the error in his calculation. I had lost at least close to 20 pounds having not eaten a morsel in the last twenty days. Gnosi was now carrying me all the time. That was eating into his hibernation cycle as well when he could recharge his batteries. He was not designed to carry a human across a thousand miles was he now! I smiled at the irony that stared at me in all four directions.

“I think the only way to survive for the seven more days you say will get us to a proper nutrition source, no strings attached, is that ….” I paused –I could not believe I was saying this … “ is that I feed on my own flesh…” Gnosi ,” Yes according to your calculations...” .. I said “ I cannot cut my own flesh Gnosi. I give you the command to cut flesh from the appropriated parts of my body and help me consume it”

I screamed in pain. I was crying like a baby. I could not believe what I had just done. I tried to eat my flesh but had vomited violently. I had then made Gnosi force feed me. I continued vomiting as Gnosi said;” Daskalos san we must keep moving to keep to your timetable” So we continued having sterilized my self inflicted wounds. To take my mind off the pain I started bantering,” Gnosi… the great robot … made the biggest error of calculation.. thought I could consume grass and live… what an idiot… “ Gnosi said, ” Daskalos san I did not make an error… you can still consume the grass”. I thought I was delirious.” What do you mean… I cannot digest grass you know that… “ Gnosi said,” But Daskalos san I can break down the grass into concentrated doses of carbo-hydrates that can be consumed…” I looked at him in all my pain ,” Why Gnosi did you not tell me this before? Why have you betrayed me so? “

Gnosi simply said,” Daskalos san- you did not ask” . I passed out


43 days- the tribe

I could not believe I was among a tribe of anthropoids of a primitive state of evolution. They were nursing me back to health. Gnosi was making sure of that. The past few days were a haze to me. Gnosi had been carrying me when we had come across these tribal hunters in the twilight of one of the days- I cannot remember which. He had shone his beacon brightly and everybody had bowed down to us and now I was almost back to full health.

30 years – Thanatos

As per my wishes Gnosi had brought me away from the tribe quietly into the mountains. I was now only hours away from death. I was feeling scared. I looked at Gnosi and said,” Gnosi what does your name mean and why have you called me Daskalos all these years?” I did not expect an answer. I was just babbling in a fear of the darkness that lay ahead. Gnosi replied, ” Gnosi means knowledge and Daskalos means teacher. You are my teacher Daskalos san” I had never really thought there had been a meaning behind the name of my companion of 30 years. I continued ,” Gnosi what languaage is this you speak of? After all these years it strikes me the name of the planet you told me off also has the same roots. Wait… This is ancient greek isnt it? What does the name of this planet mean?” Gnosi replied,” Stay off the planet Kronos”. It took me a while to assimilate what he had just said. It started to make sense – why I had been abandoned so… but I needed a closure to this issue. I had figured out that Gnosi knew the answers to my unanswered questions of 30 years past. I had at many times almost brought myself to ask them but hadnt with the power and prominence I had gained on Kronos and more importantly due to an inherent fear. But now the time had come. I asked and Gnosi replied,” Daskalos san, this is the planet which is the future of the galaxy. But till they discover to ride out to the stars the human race is not to come into any form of contact with them. The Elders had thus named the planet so. When you crashed into the planet you inadvertently broke the rule. In the final few hours before the crash I was contacted by the elders and told of your fate. Deep mathematical calculations of probability and the application of the Zimba theory of probabable patternification had yeilded in but one answer. Your abandonment….” I started seeing blackness.i tried to look at Gnosi and said,” My companion I shall have my last laugh at the elders….. I ask you to destroy yourself once I am gone of all repository of knowledge that you have gained of my actions over the last 30 years…. “

I took one last breath and said..” Gnosi goodbye my good friend…..”


1000 years--- The legend

There where temples in every city every town every village of the most prosperous civilization of the alpha quadrant. The existence of the elders and the human race was not known to anyone in the quadrant anymore. Their existence a mere fleck of the past oceans of time.The temples had but one deity- “ Daskalos our creator destroyer and preserver “and overseeing the main deity room was a smaller deity of Gnosi- his able companion to the end… Daskalos was god...



Ancient greek vocab-- o mi genoito=God forbid Thanatos= death